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Offline Farmer Jon

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"real" man?
« on: September 10, 2015, 01:59:41 PM »
Last night our youngest would not go to sleep. He would only let mommy rock him so I went on to bed. Turned on the tv and fell asleep. I wake up to her freaking out. There is something flying around in the bedroom. I thought it was a bird.  Barn swallow or sparrow. I know they poop a lot so I pull the covers over my head. Wife starts laughing. I say tell me when its gone.  Mind you I am still half asleep at this time and not fully aware of the situation. Finally she said its gone. Ok so Im awake now and thinking its just a dang bird and how did it get in?
Not a bird its a bat. Hanging from the ceiling in the living room over the open stair case to the basement. Open the front door hoping it flies out and no more fly in. So I'm throwing things at it and it wont move. WTF. I came inches from hitting it with one of the kids blocks.
I have the wife holding a blanket over the door way to the rest of the house. I sneak over to the gun cabinet. I'm thinking do I use the .22? No too messy. Open the door and there is my daughters pink bb gun. That was my weapon of choice. Good ole daisy pump bb gun. Its even loaded. Pump that thing up a few times and direct hit. Bat falls straight down into the basement. Look down the stairs hoping to see a dead body. Nothing. crap. I go down the stairs and the sucker is hanging under the edge of a stair tread. Scared the daylights out of me. Right by my bare foot. This whole time Ive been running around in my shorts. Now I go get dressed quickly. boots and all. fly down the stairs and hit it again. This time its done. Hes dead. Now I cant sleep. We were up half the night waiting for another one to come flying circles over our heads.
The only thing I could think of was what I sight I must have been. Should have been in the movie the great outdoors with John Candy. 
Of course the Wife puts it on Facebook. I get drilled at work. The guys saying Wow what a tough guy hiding under the covers LOL. I don't care I admit it, im a bit of a chicken sometimes. Especially when Im woke up out of a dead sleep with things flying around my head.
We will be laughing about this for a long time.
Father, husband, farmer, trucker, mechanic, equipment operator, ect

Offline Dawg25385

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Re: "real" man?
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2015, 02:49:14 PM »
Ha! Great story  ;D
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Offline KensAuto

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Re: "real" man?
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2015, 02:59:35 PM »
Bahhahaha
Underpaid and misunderstood since 2014

Offline TexasRedNeck

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Re: "real" man?
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2015, 03:50:48 PM »
classic!  I always tell my wife if I have to kill it, she has to clean it up....
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Joshua 6:20-24

Offline Nate

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Re: "real" man?
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2015, 06:45:06 PM »
ROFLMFAO!
If you need the promise of eternity in the kingdom of heaven to be a good person … You were never a good person in the first place!

Offline EL TATE

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Re: "real" man?
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2015, 06:55:26 PM »
Man, I can't lie. I've been in the same situation in my parents old place. My dad's working and mom and 3 sisters are hysterical. I come walking in all big and bad until that little SOB started flying around and buzzing us then all bets were off! I grazed my hair and I screamed and ran louder and faster than they did. Eventually it flew out an open door. I cannot judge you my friend.
Husband, Father, Gear guy, Patriot.

Offline Dawg25385

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Re: "real" man?
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2015, 06:56:24 PM »
Man, mice and rats get me every time. I jump around like a little girl

Don't be ashamed lol


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Prov 27:17, 2 Tim 1:7
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Offline Sammconn

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Re: "real" man?
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2015, 07:52:28 PM »
Too funny! That's awesome. Had a bird do the same to us years ago.
At least it was a bird, then our cat made the vault some 11-12 odd feet to the vaulted ceiling.
Lucky for us we had the cat!
I just don't want to wind up missing a digit or limb.  I can sometimes get in a hurry to get results.
Sam

Offline Flyin6

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Re: "real" man?
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2015, 09:18:28 PM »
Certified Real Man story you have here!
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