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Offline Nate

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10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« on: March 27, 2015, 10:38:28 AM »

10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW

1. He/she is addicted to war, although he loves you. War is horrible, but there is nothing like a life-and-death fight to make you feel truly alive. The adrenaline rush is tremendous, and can never be replaced. Succeeding in combat defines a warrior, places him in a brotherhood where he is always welcome and understood. The civilian world has its adrenaline junkies as well; just ask any retired firefighter, police officer, or emergency room staff if they miss it.

2. Living for you is harder. It would be easy for him to die for you because he loves you. Living for you, which is what you actually want, is harder for him. It is even harder for him if you are smart and do not need him to rescue you, since rescuing is something he does really well. If you are very competent at many things, he may at times question if you need him at all. He may not see that you stay with him as a conscious choice.

3. “The training kicks in” means something very different to him. It is direct battle doctrine that when ambushed by a superior force, the correct response is “Apply maximum firepower and break contact.” A warrior has to be able to respond to threat with minimal time pondering choices. While this is life-saving in combat, it is not helpful in the much slower-paced civilian world. A better rule in the civilian world would be to give a reaction proportionate to the provocation. Small provocation, small response (but this could get you killed on the battlefield). When the training becomes second nature, a warrior might take any adrenaline rush as a cue to “apply maximum firepower.” This can become particularly unfortunate if someone starts to cry. Tears are unbearable to him; they create explosive emotions in him that can be difficult for him to control. Unfortunately, that can lead to a warrior responding to strong waves of guilt by applying more “maximum firepower” on friends, family, or unfortunate strangers.

4. He/she is afraid to get attached to anyone because he has learned that the people you love get killed, and he cannot face that pain again. He may make an exception for his children (because they cannot divorce him), but that will be instinctual and he will probably not be able to explain his actions.

5. He knows the military exists for a reason. The sad fact is that a military exists ultimately to kill people and break things. This was true of our beloved “Greatest Generation” warriors of WWII, and it remains true to this day. Technically, your warrior may well be a killer, as are his friends. He may have a hard time seeing that this does not make him a murderer. Although they may look similar at first glance, he is a sheepdog protecting the herd, not a wolf trying to destroy it. The emotional side of killing in combat is complex. He may not know how to feel about what he’s seen or done, and he may not expect his feelings to change over time. Warriors can experiences moments of profound guilt, shame, and self-hatred. He may have experienced a momentary elation at “scoring one for the good guys,” then been horrified that he celebrated killing a human being. He may view himself as a monster for having those emotions, or for having gotten used to killing because it happened often. I can personally recommend 'On Killing' by Dave Grossman.

6. He’s had to cultivate explosive anger in order to survive in combat.

7. He may have been only nineteen when he first had to make a life and death decision for someone else. What kind of skills does a nineteen-year-old have to deal with that kind of responsibility? One of my veterans put it this way: “You want to know what frightening is? It’s a nineteen-year-old boy who’s had a sip of that power over life and death that war gives you. It’s a boy who, despite all the things he’s been taught, knows that he likes it. It’s a nineteen-year-old who’s just lost a friend, and is angry and scared, and determined that some *%#& is gonna pay. To this day, the thought of that boy can wake me from a sound sleep and leave me staring at the ceiling.”

8. He may believe that he’s the only one who feels this way; eventually he may realize that at least other combat vets understand. On some level, he doesn’t want you to understand, because that would mean you had shared his most horrible experience, and he wants someone to remain innocent.

9. He doesn’t understand that you have a mama bear inside of you, that probably any of us could kill in defense of someone if we needed to. Imagine your reaction if someone pointed a weapon at your child. Would it change your reaction if a child pointed a weapon at your child?

10. When you don’t understand, he needs you to give him the benefit of the doubt. He needs you also to realize that his issues really aren’t about you, although you may step in them sometimes. Truly, the last thing he wants is for you to become a casualty of his war.


If you need the promise of eternity in the kingdom of heaven to be a good person … You were never a good person in the first place!

Offline cudakidd53

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Re: 10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2015, 01:36:10 PM »
Thanks Don-
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"When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. Hence, dealing with this fact is not difficult. It is only hard for those still living around you.....It's the same when you're stupid."

Offline Nate

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Re: 10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2015, 02:43:33 PM »
what?
If you need the promise of eternity in the kingdom of heaven to be a good person … You were never a good person in the first place!

Offline Flyin6

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Re: 10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2015, 06:57:45 PM »
Yea man, I'm just a chicken pilot!  :o
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Offline TexasRedNeck

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Re: 10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2015, 07:20:50 PM »
Yep, and then there are the REMF types that just keep out of your way and sending their $$ to Uncle Sam so you can keep blowing stuff up..... :-)
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Offline Nate

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Re: 10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2015, 08:02:47 PM »
actually, the what comment was for mike.  I think he may have gotten you and I mixed up.

« Last Edit: March 27, 2015, 11:51:59 PM by Flyin6 »
If you need the promise of eternity in the kingdom of heaven to be a good person … You were never a good person in the first place!

Offline Flyin6

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Re: 10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« Reply #6 on: March 27, 2015, 11:52:09 PM »
I think he did

Met a cool guy tonight in church. Former enforcer for the Hell's Angels, ex marine with multiple combat tours. Wore a Seal trident as well...graduated from BUDS and the rest of the Navee training. Shot many times, and is now a pastor. The man has my respect!
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Offline Drunksailor

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Re: 10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2015, 04:19:47 AM »
I think he did

Met a cool guy tonight in church. Former enforcer for the Hell's Angels, ex marine with multiple combat tours. Wore a Seal trident as well...graduated from BUDS and the rest of the Navee training. Shot many times, and is now a pastor. The man has my respect!

Hmmm maybe i don't have all the facts but unless he at one point was in the navy, got out, and THEN joined the marines then i assure you he has not earned a trident…
-Seth

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Offline Flyin6

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Re: 10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2015, 08:41:52 AM »
I think he did

Met a cool guy tonight in church. Former enforcer for the Hell's Angels, ex marine with multiple combat tours. Wore a Seal trident as well...graduated from BUDS and the rest of the Navee training. Shot many times, and is now a pastor. The man has my respect!

Hmmm maybe i don't have all the facts but unless he at one point was in the navy, got out, and THEN joined the marines then i assure you he has not earned a trident…

Check out the historical records of the day my friend. Recon Marines during the Vietnam war definitely participated in Buds. In saying he wore the trident that is what I meant, so let me clarify that point. Ron went through the Buds and SEAL training as a Marine NCO. I said he wore the trident. I actually don't know if he wore it, I assume so, but he graduated from the course and earned it.
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Offline Drunksailor

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Re: 10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2015, 12:17:54 PM »


Check out the historical records of the day my friend. Recon Marines during the Vietnam war definitely participated in Buds. In saying he wore the trident that is what I meant, so let me clarify that point. Ron went through the Buds and SEAL training as a Marine NCO. I said he wore the trident. I actually don't know if he wore it, I assume so, but he graduated from the course and earned it.
The book, "Loco" is about him...
You far and away or home port?
[/quote]

Yeah after saying that i did some research and read something similar to that, i guess i was shooting from the hips the only reason i doubled back and did research was you said he was a pastor so i figured he stood no gain from lying. I got to go home for christmas but I'm out again for awhile. That means more parts collecting in my garage!
-Seth

“Anyone in any walk of life who is content with mediocrity is untrue to himself and to American tradition.”
― George S. Patton Jr.

Offline Flyin6

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Re: 10 THINGS YOUR COMBAT VET WANTS YOU TO KNOW
« Reply #10 on: April 01, 2015, 12:55:23 PM »
That sort of thing definitely goes on. Once a guy I know who looks like me was sent to a USMC school. No Army allowed and all that. I got the diploma and wore the patch. Later on when Marines would see that patch on my helmet bag they'd ask me how I got that. I'd have to give them, "It's a long story my friend" line.
You might be surprised to learn that US Army has sent folks as well, just like the surfer dudes have attended our most sacred tough guy stuff. Just depends on what level you're playing at. Not for the main-stream guys, just a few hand picked guys here and there based on mission needs and requirements.
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