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Offline Flyin6

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CIEMR: What if the sheep get stupid?
« on: May 16, 2020, 12:23:50 AM »
What if the sheep get stupid?
A CIEMR
By
Don Harward

So, I get that most people are sheep. And that there are wolves out there that feed on and sport with the sheep. And I get it that there are sheepdogs that look after the sheep and move swiftly to engage the wolves. After all I and a lot of my best friends are of the latter group.

I get it that sheep seem to mindlessly wonder about and that’s OK, it’s the herd mentality thing. I am thankful for the sheep providing everyone, myself included with warm fuzzy, comfortable wool. I mean who doesn’t love a wool sweater when the chill replaces summer climes?

Being sheep and operating with this mostly successful herd mentality has kept them fairly high up in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The practice that has worked for them over the ages. I mean just look at them. They are all over the place in abundance. I am speaking of the fuzzy type sheep, not the people sheep, although there certainly is an abundance of the latter as well. But with this herd mentality simple rule there are always losses to the wolves. But since those sheep are prolific little critters they make more sheep pdq and everyone nary misses the loss of Joe, (I love that line out of a 50’s Si-fi movie, “They got Joe!”)

But what when the sheep are dumb? Well not dumb, but stupid? What then? Well they start to act irrationally and outside the herd normal that has guaranteed their survival success over millennia. And what if the number of the sheep dogs has been diminished. Suppose some of the sheep dogs just quit because they were tired of risking being fatally bitten by the K-nines of those wolves when the stupid sheep just don’t listen to reason? And we all know that the sheep do not really like the sheep dog. After all we sheepdogs look a lot like the wolves and if you didn’t know us you might rightly mistake us for the wolf and not know we are actually here to help.

Suppose that some more sheepdogs up and quit because they were tired and fed up with working all day outside of the wire patrolling and fighting off wolf attacks, then coming home and having to listen to disparaging remarks about the sheep dog’s need for two fangs when one should do the trick. And why do they need claws anyway, wouldn’t it be better off if they didn’t have those nasty things? Suppose some of the sheep dogs just had enough of the nonsense and decided to quit, buy a boat and fish for bass off shore while they paid no more attention to what the wolves were doing. I mean if you’re a sheepdog, how do you explain to a sheep what it is like to fight for one’s life? Sheep don’t fight. They only get eaten by wolves, get trampled to death, die of old age, or mindlessly walk off some cliff somewhere.

Now let’s suppose the sheep dogs were all required to attend feminization training. Both male and female sheep dogs. Both were taught to talk out your differences, and reason with wolves. They were taught it is better to back down from a confrontation than to risk getting one of those scars that the grand dad sheep dogs all seem to wear. Suppose it became chic for the male sheepdogs to become prettier? I mean the sheep would like it, since the nasty old sheep dogs would then start to look less scary, less aggressive, and more civilized. Why we could have a sheep dog with a ponytail, some skinny jeans, and a fresh pedicure! He might score better with the lady dogs. Hmmm, that’s interesting. (Or would the lady dogs be more like the sheep dog girls who demand their sheep dogs act like a proper sheep dog?)

And what if the male sheep dogs that were born by mistake into the body of a boy sheep dog wanted to free themselves of the burden of the toxic sheep dog thing and become just a female dog? And some boy dogs could also chase after other boy dogs. To what end? You asking me? I haven’t the slightest clue. To me the lady dogs are just fine. But we’re not talkin’ bout me, is we? Nope,so back to our sheep dogs. Now that some of the sheep dogs have freed themselves of the burden of their sexuality and are free to go after same or different gender dogs or perhaps…even sheep? Well, no one said there was any limit did they? Take that first step and I guess you just keep walkin’ it out.. I mean if a boy sheep doggie can go with another boy sheep doggie, then why not with a sheep, or a blackbird, or a salamander? Heck that’s freedom right? Admitting you like tree frogs somehow elevates you to some higher order of intellectualism, right?

I mean those taking these bizarre side streets become the focal point of the herd and are celebrated as though they reached some higher order of evolution. And all the while the “normal” sheep dog is either forgotten, or relegated into being some sort of hillbilly watchdog of limited intelligence. Some back waters bayou red collar dog that no one wants to think about. Sure, sometimes the sheep will pay the minimum respects to them, tolerating the kennel master recognizing Fido, a now three legged sheep dog that lost an appendage in a fight with three wolves, all of which he dispatched. The sheep provide their obligatory moment of poise and give a halfhearted golf clap all the time wondering why all the fuss? He’s just a red collar hillbilly farm boy sheepdog who got hurt.

They likely remember a former kennel master who pointed out (and rightly so) that sheep dogs know what they are volunteering for and should they get injured, well, then, that’s all on them. They assumed the risk, so they can darn well pay for their hospitalization! The sheep seem to know (think) that a sheep dog can’t get a decent job in the herd anyway, so the SDC (Sheep dog corps) was their only real opportunity outside of sweeping up the shearing rooms or picking up the sheep pellets that are scattered to the four winds.

I’d think that a herd with an attitude like that, and a culture that celebrates the freakish behavior of a few mentally ill sheep, but fails to notice the thousands that chow down on clover for weeks at a time just to grow a heavy coat that ultimately provides richly to the communal good is in trouble. I think a sheep dog who isn’t taken care of after it has fought off a wolf attack is a moral injustice and is wrong on so many levels. I think a society that honors a dog that marries a rabbit over one who marries another dog, creates a family, then quietly lives out their lives is the sign of a very sick group of sheep, or dogs, or beetles, or whatever.

I also think that a sheep herd that adopts values like that is destined to fail in a very dramatic way. And I think the wolves living in the vicinity of a herd of sheep like that are going to be pretty fat!
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