Kids and Sports

[Wilbur]

So this is a little take off from Don's CIEMR in Duramaxdarren's "Is it me" post. In it he made some excellent points about kids and introducing them to failure (and everything else he said about society!!!). But my comment is specific to kids and sports and the utter nonsense of "everyone gets a trophy" BS that infects sports (and apparently bible camp too!). I have three kids, they have all played sports at one level or another over the years (my youngest is just entering HS and continues to play soccer).

I think team sports can be really great for kids for a variety of reasons. I played hockey, baseball and soccer (hockey in college) so am familiar with the good and bad of team sports. Ultimately we all know the benefits to kids playing on a team, getting along, the "team" being bigger than the individual yada yada yada. But I think the REAL benefit of team sports is that it teaches kids how to lose! (Right along the lines of Don's point). I think as parents we all teach our kids how to win. We praise every little thing kids do from their first steps, their first words, etc. They color on the wall and we (often) say "oh what a nice drawing!"  ::)

but what a team sport can teach a kid (if we let it) is how to lose. How to dust yourself off after getting your ass beat on the field/rink/court and get back out there and try harder. If the other team worked harder, prepared better, they deserve to win. And we do no one any favors by pretending that the losing team is just as deserving of a trophy than the winning team. Does ANYONE remember who got the silver medals in the Olympics? Why was this latest World Cup so important to the women's team? Because they LOST in the finals in 2011 and hadn't made the finals since they won it in 1999. Did they feel good about having lost it in 2011? Um...I didn't hear any of them say that. And the losers didn't look all that happy about losing either. THAT'S LIFE DA** IT!

Life will kick you in the a** and if you have been coddled as a kid, told you are great no matter what, if you've never been challenged or had to work hard to get something then how will you possibly react when that job interview goes south? How will you react when that business deal you worked so hard on falls apart? Will you curl up in a ball and refuse to try again? Or will you say "Gee, the other guy/team/whatever worked harder than I did, they were better prepared and I da*n well better make sure that doesn't happen again!" THAT'S what team sports can teach kids. But only if we let them. If we coddle and give everyone a trophy, give everyone a medal and pretend that its all the same (don't keep score and other nonsense perpetuated by liberals who probably always got their butt's kicked on whatever field they played on!!!) then we will fulfill the liberals dream to lower the bar of achievement to the lowest common denominator. And in the REAL WORLD, that threshold is a dangerous place to be as people and as a country.

My son won a team championship in hockey where the prize was simply a medal. He values that cheap-*ss medal more than he does the tournament trophy he got for coming in second place in a tournament he played at. As he told me, "I knew we lost the tournament so the big trophy was pretty meaningless (exact same trophy as the winning team just a different plate on it saying "Runner Up"). But the medal meant we were the best that year."  I say give the winners their due and let the losers go back to the practice field knowing they lost to try to improve and do better next time. It will make ALL of them better. And it will make our society better.

Rant off.  ::)

[moto123]

Without failure there cannot be motivation to succeed.  You can have both or neither.

[Dawg25385]

I remember after a pee wee football game, my dad told me my effort was pathetic... and he was right. Not that I "sucked" or that I was a bad athlete or something anything that, but that my effort was lacking, and it showed on the field. And it made me want to get better. And I did.

Then I remember when I got cut from the High School basketball team. It stung, was really embarrassing, but i'm glad i got to experience failure in that way, then, so I am better suited to handle it now, when it really matters.

Very good post Will. Competition is such a huge part of life, both internally to one's self, and externally with others. And the purpose of competing is to win.

[Wilbur]

I remember after a pee wee football game, my dad told me my effort was pathetic... and he was right. Not that I "sucked" or that I was a bad athlete or something anything that, but that my effort was lacking, and it showed on the field. And it made me want to get better. And I did.

Then I remember when I got cut from the High School basketball team. It stung, was really embarrassing, but i'm glad i got to experience failure in that way, then, so I am better suited to handle it now, when it really matters.

Very good post Will. Competition is such a huge part of life, both internally to one's self, and externally with others. And the purpose of competing is to win.

All very good points Dawg, I totally agree. The only time I have ever given my kids grief for what they did on a field/rink was when they didn't try hard. I can't ever fault their talent level. But effort is the one thing they control, so I got on them if they didn't try hard.

[Flyin6]

Holy smokes

I think I started something here!

Or was it Darren?

Good to talk about this stuff to check yourself against other fathers. Wouldn't be the first (or second or third, or forth...) time I was wrong.

Good discussion here

[Atkinsmatt]

When I played little league ball there was a tryout.  You made it or didn't.  There was no adding teams so everyone got a uniform.  Winning and being successful are hard work.  When all of the trophies look the same, there is no motivation to get better.

[Flyin6]

When I played little league ball there was a tryout.  You made it or didn't.  There was no adding teams so everyone got a uniform.  Winning and being successful are hard work.  When all of the trophies look the same, there is no motivation to get better.

Yep

But know what?

We as fathers don't have to accept this nonsense which is making wimps out of our children. We still rule our homes. We cam still make it right for those little ones who look upon us for guidance.

Bottom line: Always put God first, and you as a father, educate yourself about God and what he expects from you.