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Emotions

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Bigdave_185:
The ten year old boy shows his let's call them um    " emotions".    I don't have any emotion except Anger, Happy and don't Bother me.

What now?


Please edit title to emotions please

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EL TATE:
Probably just starting up on them there hormonal changes at that age? I'm guessing you're talking about more of the waterworks type of "emotions". I had those "issues" around that time too. If I had a chance to go back in time I'd like someone to have told me I wasn't screwing up by having them because it just made things worse thinking I was failing at being a boy. I can't tell you how to get rid of them, I guess I just self adjusted, but maybe just ask him "why he feels this way" and get him to explain it to himself, and maybe he'll start to see that he's not reacting correctly to individual situations.

Bigdave_185:
I guess I grew up under the stipulation that boys just don't do that. Crying because pain never changes the pain threshold, it doesn't reduce stress or anxiety (often it enhances it) I can't think of but two times when water works is useful. Spiritual moments sure maybe, death or remorse, otherwise

Tate you said you had people tell you it was the wrong way ? Did you become more adherent to it and take thought to not display emotion or did it cause more because you felt something else was wrong also ?


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EL TATE:
I was born in '80, had 3 sisters and an overprotective mommy and grew up with the same expectation, but anytime I got yelled at for something I would break down. I wasn't an injury crier; broke a lot of bones early on and pain was not a thing for me after that. I'd get in trouble for something, then get in trouble for crying, and it would just get worse. Only an issue with Dad for whatever reason. and I could never really explain it, and eventually I would just clam up and either shake or nod my head rather than cry outloud. I guess I just got over it after I started 6th grade and middle school and it was clearly obvious that it wasn't socially acceptable or I'd never make it. This is a lot of personal information but if it's helpful in anyway so be it. I am in no way advocating that you don't try to curb it early, because it was not helpful for me to be that emotional and it has followed me into adulthood with no benefits, I'm just saying telling me to "knock it off", or "straighten up" was not helpful. So I guess my suggestions are more along the lines of what not to do.

KensAuto:
Sometimes it's true emotion showing. Just because you didn't "cry" over certain things doesn't mean that he is chemically balanced the same way. When I was young, like many others in previous generations, we were tought to "man up". Problem is, when some people bottle up those emotions, they can do different things with them, including turning them into anger or hate. I'm not saying to buy him a dozen roses, but I wouldn't go all hard ass on him either. I believe a healthy conversation with him might be the best. Teach him that being a strong man in this day and age is difficult, but essential to having a strong future family (core LDS teachings iirc).
Now, the Ken from ten years ago would recommend taking him out back and beating some sense into him, so take my ramblings with a grain of salt, and I'll pray for you and your son in the mean time.

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