having a hard time with this!

[Nate]

so I came across a statement that for the life of me I have just been to damned dumb to accept or to stupid to truly understand.

"When my wife does something frustrating, I just remind myself that I need her patience more than she needs mine and I'm blessed to have her!"

this is really becoming a thing for me here as of lately, because I am transitioning from something that is very regimented to the unknown.  on top of that, I am inadvertently treating my wife as if I was at work and that is not good at all.

 :-[

[halsey]

Thanks for posting this.  I remind myself every day that I am fortunate to have an accepting and supportive bride!
It helps to state the obvious sometimes. They are our greatest asset.

[TexasRedNeck]

on top of that, I am inadvertently treating my wife as if I was at work and that is not good at all.

 :-[

Oh man. I do that sometimes and I always regret it


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[stlaser]

Luckily for me this flows both ways in my house otherwise I'd always be in the doghouse.

[Dmaxlovr]

 People can't "make" you feel anything Nate. Might be a good time to look inside yourself to find the root problem (which sounds like you already touched on not liking change). And you are blessed to have her. Treating her like she was a fellow coworker might be a clue to look inside. Perspective is everything and maybe frustration is justified. Maybe what frustrates you wouldn't frustrate the next guy? Or maybe it wouldn't  even bother you on a different day/time. I'm not saying I like the statement, but I'm guessing you might be the issue...not some statement. ugh. I hope you take that the right way. If anything does not come from love in the first place then it simply just isn't true. We need God's patience.
Feel free to tell me to mind my own business...
Colossians 3 -13,19

[Flyin6]

I like that^^^ Loads of truth!

Likely applies to all of us!

[Nate]

I did take it the right way steve, and that is why I posted it.  because I am publically stating that I am having a hell of a time with making this transition and unfortunately my wife is taking the brunt of my crapheadedness. 

[Dmaxlovr]

I seem to take my frustration out on the people I love most also. You are not alone. Just human... The awesome thing is that you recognized it and are willing to make public a shortcoming that we as men all face! I think from everything I have read on here that Don put this site up exactly for that reason. You have my vote for "realman" of the day! (If there is such a thing...if not maybe there should be as a way to recognize true bravery)
I can't imagine how hard it must be for you military guys to express your feelings when you have been trained so much not to subscribe to emotion. Correct me if I'm wrong there... I'm not military just a look from an outsider. You rock!

[JR]

I understand this all to well. I have been dealing with a little of this with my leg problem.

When it really hurts, my temper is short. When I take meds, I don't hurt as much, but they make me short tempered too..

We all have our times. When you recognize it you begin to control it more, but talking can help a lot!!

[EL TATE]

x2, on ALL of this. I needed this, thank you Nate.

[cj7ox]

so I came across a statement that for the life of me I have just been to damned dumb to accept or to stupid to truly understand.

"When my wife does something frustrating, I just remind myself that I need her patience more than she needs mine and I'm blessed to have her!"

this is really becoming a thing for me here as of lately, because I am transitioning from something that is very regimented to the unknown.  on top of that, I am inadvertently treating my wife as if I was at work and that is not good at all.

 :-[

Nate,

I just came across this thread, and even though it's been a minute, I thought I'd chime in. I had similar issues when I returned from my first trip to Iraq as a National Guardsman. I came home, and went right back to work 3 days later. I didn't take the time to figure out the transition, and was convinced that I was good, that nothing had changed. Turns out I was wrong, but didn't discover it until a couple of years later during my 2nd tour and prepping to brief my Soldiers on the transition. Anyway, I know the situation is not the same, but the transition part is. The big thing is to look inward, and do a good self assessment. Figure out what the big stressor is. Even if you can't fix it, identifying it can often help you better deal with it. Identify those triggers that cause your unwanted reaction to your wife, so that when they happen you can make the conscious decision to not act on them. BTW, I have those triggers all the time. Sometimes, I have to literally walk away from my wife to keep from opening my mouth "in the moment". I think it would be a very good idea to sit down and explain the situation with your wife, let her know that it's not her fault, and that you are working to deal with the situation. Honesty is important, because you are both going through this transition. It'll be easier if you can both come together on the same sheet and tackle it as a team. Anyway, hope this helps. If not, at least know that you're not alone in your experience.