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having a hard time with this!

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cj7ox:

--- Quote from: nmeyer414 on December 31, 2015, 01:38:51 PM ---so I came across a statement that for the life of me I have just been to damned dumb to accept or to stupid to truly understand.

"When my wife does something frustrating, I just remind myself that I need her patience more than she needs mine and I'm blessed to have her!"

this is really becoming a thing for me here as of lately, because I am transitioning from something that is very regimented to the unknown.  on top of that, I am inadvertently treating my wife as if I was at work and that is not good at all.

 :-[

--- End quote ---

Nate,

I just came across this thread, and even though it's been a minute, I thought I'd chime in. I had similar issues when I returned from my first trip to Iraq as a National Guardsman. I came home, and went right back to work 3 days later. I didn't take the time to figure out the transition, and was convinced that I was good, that nothing had changed. Turns out I was wrong, but didn't discover it until a couple of years later during my 2nd tour and prepping to brief my Soldiers on the transition. Anyway, I know the situation is not the same, but the transition part is. The big thing is to look inward, and do a good self assessment. Figure out what the big stressor is. Even if you can't fix it, identifying it can often help you better deal with it. Identify those triggers that cause your unwanted reaction to your wife, so that when they happen you can make the conscious decision to not act on them. BTW, I have those triggers all the time. Sometimes, I have to literally walk away from my wife to keep from opening my mouth "in the moment". I think it would be a very good idea to sit down and explain the situation with your wife, let her know that it's not her fault, and that you are working to deal with the situation. Honesty is important, because you are both going through this transition. It'll be easier if you can both come together on the same sheet and tackle it as a team. Anyway, hope this helps. If not, at least know that you're not alone in your experience.

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