Author Topic: lets keep nate awake while on duty thread! (Read 23536 times)

TexasRedNeck · « **Reply #100 on:** December 05, 2015, 08:53:49 AM »

Wow. What kind of punishment gets doled out for those? Push ups, latrine cleaning, potato peeling?

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Nate · « **Reply #101 on:** December 05, 2015, 08:57:23 AM »

nah, things calmed down. i even got about 2 hrs of eyelid PMCS.

Nate · « **Reply #102 on:** December 05, 2015, 09:00:08 AM »

nothing was too bad, so they all basicaly got cussed out for loosing their disipline.

Wilbur · « **Reply #103 on:** December 05, 2015, 09:04:55 AM »

Sorry you have to keep getting tagged for guard duty but I will say it makes for some entertaining reading.... :)

Nate · « **Reply #104 on:** December 05, 2015, 09:22:43 AM »

its all good

Flyin6 · « **Reply #105 on:** December 05, 2015, 10:45:05 AM »

The unfettered life of the NCO...

So when the officers debrief you in the morning

If the lazy Cr@(*#^!! even bother

You just tell em

"Quiet night sir, nothing happened."

Right?

Nate · « **Reply #106 on:** December 05, 2015, 04:25:08 PM »

pretty much, but I do like to share drunk soldier stories. makes for a bit of comic relief to end the day on a positive note.

KensAuto · « **Reply #107 on:** December 05, 2015, 07:23:02 PM »

"makes me feel like a spy". hahahaha

Higher Caliber · « **Reply #108 on:** December 06, 2015, 09:13:10 AM »

We were at Ft McCoy Wisconsin doing our 9 day d-mob stand down, make sure you aren't going to cook off, and health assessment. 1SG, in an attempt to show solidarity, pulled duty. We decided to go out because a guy knew a guy who knew the gate keepers girl friend (small world I know). So like any good soldier would do, we called a cab to meet us at the gate, paid off the guard and headed out on the town. As if that is possible in Sparta Wisconsin. But we decided to pub crawl. Bad idea! Post deployment alcohol metabolism is nearly nil. You basically drink two of the devil's spirits and you are stumbling, five mins later you are stone cold sober... and the cycle perpetuates.

We wound up in some little hole in the wall. Some literal "Shack" of some sort, not even sure if they had a liquor license, but the bar tender was a crusty old Vietnam vet. He didn't make us pay for a drink all night, so we never left. Played darts and pool. Spc. Wagoner got a dart lodged in his trapezius. It was one of those sorts of nights. We were the only ones in the bar, the old man told some sweet stories and we just sat around him like a bunch of kindergarten kids. He got tired and gave us a key and told us to lock up and put the key under a rock before we left. Being the ranking NCO and the "good example" I toasted a final time and told the boys it was time to go. We got a cab and rolled back to base. It was a great night but this is where the problems started.

It was probably 4am by this point, we decided to get 1SG a box of donuts and a huge coffee. Still hadn't figured out how we were going to sneak in but we had it in our polluted heads that we could pay him off too with the donuts. The gate guard we had paid off was off duty upon our arrival, oops. We had all left practically all or our cash at the bar for the old man since he had been so generous. So for four benchmades, a gerber multi-tool, and two pair of oakleys, the DOD security let us back on base. Good thing we weren't the Taliban. As we walked back to our barracks, roughly 1.5 miles, it was getting close to first call.

We had it in our heads we could hide in the bushes until people started stirring and storm our rooms *fire escape*. Then someone remembered it was Sunday and we weren't due until a 0900 formation. We snuck up the backside of the barracks careful to conceal ourselves. As it would turn out, 1SG was wide awake in his sniffle gear and on a patrol, straight for our egress route. We needed a distraction technique. The sun was coming up fast. We hunkered down and I sent PFC Elmore to the dumpster for a Gatorade bottle and an MRE heater. PFC. Elmore returned with said supplies. Our intent was to make a small but percussive explosive device in order to elicit a response from 1SG and we could run right in our front door and hunker into our beds before he could return. We had no water to initiate the chemical response necessary to expand and explode the bottle, but we all had to pee. We shoved the heater down in the bottle and I unzipped and filled it about half full. It started steaming. Perfect! PV1 Barker was tasked with setting the device. He was given specific orders NOT to tighten the lid down until he was ready to set it. PV1 Barker tightened the lid down and ran for the dumpster in a direct disregard of my authority.

We all looked at each other and giggled. 1SG was lighting a cigarette about this time watching the sun come up. We were roughly 120 meters from him. A few people were strolling about in PT's for morning smokes. We were sure to get busted if this didn't go as planned. The targeted dumpster was about fifty meters to our 9:00. If we timed it correctly, 1SG would go running to respond to the explosion around the opposite side of the building, and Barker would have time to make it back as we were running up the stairs. We would leave the aforementioned coffee and donuts on the hasty CQ desk and make it to our rooms to snuggle down with our woobies for a couple hours.

Was a perfect plan, except in Barker's haste, he had tightened the lid down on our IED prematurely. Barker made it about 5 feet from the dumpster when the thing cooked off and shook the still dawn with a deafening KAPOW spraying urine everywhere and even in his mouth! But we continued mission, because that's what we do. Barker came running back, 1SG went running around the opposite side of the building just as we had planned, I dropped the donuts and coffee on the desk and we all shot up the stairs and bedded down. I love it when a plan comes together!

There was no time to laugh about Barker being covered in my urine or surely his 10% disability he would receive for bad hearing. We were all too amped to sleep by this point so we decided to don our PT's and head to chow. With reflective belts securely fashioned we all headed downstairs, *yawning* and *stretching*. Get to the bottom of the stairs. 1SG was partaking in our rations we provided. "mornin' first s'arnt"..... "Gentleman! Good morning... Sleep well?" .... "Couldn't have slept better first s'arnt, thanks for asking first s'arnt" .... "excellent, did you guys not hear all the commotion this morning?" ... "no first s'arnt?? what happened??" ... "Oh nothing... it's funny ya'll are the only squad that didn't clear the barracks tho... just sayin'..." .... "...crickets..." ... "That's what I thought" as he very firmly stuck a receipt in the middle of my chest and punched it, same way he had when he busted me down with my honorary Spc rank after the baboon incident, and the same we he had subsequently promoted me at the post deployment awards ceremony and battle hand off while we were still in country. "head on to chow now gents..." "yes, first s'arnt" and we all scurried along... We get to chow, and the lunch lady inquires about my receipt. I pulled it off, looked at it... and in big bold letters across the bottom of my credit card receipt, printed as it often is, "Visa CORNELIUS 1234"...

Never heard another thing about it... PV1 Barker however, still holds the title of Goldie, short for "Golden ...." (you get the idea)

BobbyB · « **Reply #109 on:** December 06, 2015, 10:39:19 AM »

Quote from: Higher Caliber on December 06, 2015, 09:13:10 AM

We were at Ft McCoy Wisconsin doing our 9 day d-mob stand down

And this was when?

Higher Caliber · « **Reply #110 on:** December 06, 2015, 10:44:28 AM »

Quote from: BobbyB on December 06, 2015, 10:39:19 AM

Quote from: Higher Caliber on December 06, 2015, 09:13:10 AM
We were at Ft McCoy Wisconsin doing our 9 day d-mob stand down

And this was when?

2010'sh. I didn't think about that being your stomping grounds... Do you know the name of the place I'm talking about?

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BobbyB · « **Reply #111 on:** December 06, 2015, 10:46:40 AM »

Quote from: Higher Caliber on December 06, 2015, 10:44:28 AM

2010'sh. I didn't think about that being your stomping grounds... Do you know the name of the place I'm talking about?

Yes. 2010 is when I got back from my last deployment. So it's entirely possible there was some overlap in that area.

Higher Caliber · « **Reply #112 on:** December 06, 2015, 11:50:27 AM »

I didn't know you could ski in Wisconsin. We had a "mandatory fun" day at some paintball park on base there IIRC. I am not all in to paintballing and air-soft but we had a pretty good time! That place seemed like a pretty sweet installation with the big bowling alley and MWR building. They had a pretty decent gym too

BobbyB · « **Reply #113 on:** December 06, 2015, 01:15:27 PM »

Quote from: Higher Caliber on December 06, 2015, 11:50:27 AM

I didn't know you could ski in Wisconsin. We had a "mandatory fun" day at some paintball park on base there IIRC. I am not all in to paintballing and air-soft but we had a pretty good time! That place seemed like a pretty sweet installation with the big bowling alley and MWR building. They had a pretty decent gym too

Yea there's a ski hill and etc there. But I've never used it.

cudakidd53 · « **Reply #114 on:** December 06, 2015, 03:43:24 PM »

Thanks HC, that's one of the best laughs I've had in awhile......."told him not to tighten the lid...." the picture of disaster was pretty vivid in my head at that point! :o

TexasRedNeck · « **Reply #115 on:** December 06, 2015, 04:20:20 PM »

Bobby, coming out of Duluth, MN, south on 35, I seem to recall there is what looks like a big ski jump. It may be on the WI side. I've always wondered what that was and why it was there

Nate · « **Reply #116 on:** December 06, 2015, 09:18:17 PM »

that was probably a ski jumping place that doubles as a water slide kind of thing in the summer. they have those all over the place up there.

Nate · « **Reply #117 on:** December 07, 2015, 01:29:03 AM »

well so far it has been a somewhat quiet day. the biggest thing that i had to deal with was going to pick a SSG (staff sergeant / E-6) up from the MP station because he got into a verbal altercation with his wife. then a few hours later, i had to take him back over there so he could get some things to stay in the cool down room for a few days.

Nate · « **Reply #118 on:** December 07, 2015, 06:45:46 AM »

so i just had probably one of if not the funniest incident i have ever had to deal with while on duty.

a young private with the knowledge of many a wise man (18yrs old) who is still inprocessing decided to go to an adult establishment and partake in some activities that involved sins of the flesh. while this wise young man was partaking in these activities, he all of a sudden ran up a $900 bill. the 2 employees faild to mention the said price for activities/services rendered and told him that they would drop it to $700. well when he went to leave the establishment, he was stopped by the security folks and told that he could not leave until he paid his tab.

well, his battle buddies left him hanging as they DI DI MAU'd back to base. my counter part in another BDE gets a hold of this info and lets me know whats going on. well from this point, i called this wise young man and find out what happened and how he is going to get it fixed. he tells me that a friend is coming with some money.

about 90 minutes later, in walks this wise young man with his Battalion (BN) staffy duty nco. i asked him some questions about how this happened, gave him a little advice being as they provided him with an illegal service that they cant really/truly enforce. i gave him a little more grief just for G.P. and told him to have a nice night (or what was left of it) and that i would not put this incident in my log because no law enforcement were involved and no body got hurt cept young mans pride and wallet for that matter. this is deffinately the first time that i have ever had to deal with a man getting rolled/duped by ladies that were wearing nothing but their smiles............ :o

oh what a night!

cudakidd53 · « **Reply #119 on:** December 07, 2015, 07:03:13 AM »

Always remember that education cost $, either pay the price to sit in a good classroom, or pay the price for not paying attention while sitting in a classroom! ;D

stlaser · « **Reply #120 on:** December 07, 2015, 07:33:44 AM »

Funny Nate, he musta had a heck of a night for $900! ::) Glad no one got hurt (as of yet) we'll see if he needs a dr's visit in a few days........

Nate · « **Reply #121 on:** December 07, 2015, 08:59:35 AM »

right