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caught sneaking back in

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EL TATE:
Oh the irony. Woke up this am at 0430 to my lab announcing my son's staggering return up the driveway. Turns out this new "friend" of his was in the neighborhood last night and talked him into sneaking out and meeting him at the park a few blocks away from our house. Hands covered in tell tale red fireball stains from coming back up. He's never done anything like this before, is unusually open and honest for a 17 year old about everything he does normally, so this has me thrown a bit off. I don't want him around this kid ever again, but I also don't want to push too hard and have him continue to sneak around because he feels cornered. He's sleeping it off now, Cyndie works from home so she'll be the first assault when he wakes up. I'm sure he'll be hungover all day, so that's the start of his punishment. Anyone been through this and have any insight? I'm only 35 and the last time I had to deal with something like this it was my younger sister when we were in high school. I wound up being the one scolding her because my parents were in the middle of their divorce and couldn't handle it. She professed to hating me for years afterwards but then later realized I was doing it because I loved her. just would rather skip the years of hating this time and go straight to understanding.

Thanks,

Bob Smith:
Sorry Tate, I went through this 25 years ago and know how you are feeling. Be up front and let him know how bad you feel and that the trust level just went in the tank. Do be careful not to push him away from the family and trust in God that he will make the right choices from here on out. Be there for him when he wants to lean on you. It will work out but could be a rough road for a bit, took Like 6+ years for us.

EL TATE:
Thanks, that's kind of my game plan. In between vomiting he was crying and apologizing. I think he got caught up, but the first mistake was sneaking out of the house. Makes me want to put it on lockdown with an alarm system now.

Nate:
I just want to make sure I am understanding correctly before I offer a recommendation.  he was caught sneaking back in and drunk on top of it?

JR:
If he thinks he is getting away with it then it will get worse. Perhaps a motion sensor camera system so you know he is gone, then ask where he was, knowing he was gone. At 17 I was away or at home with no restrictions, Gone all night all the time and could buy alcohol at will, but I knew what as right.

I am about to put a camera in the hall by my kids room and possibly in my daughters room (thinks she 22 not 12)  Right now I am the meanest guy in the world and blame her for everything!! I have a camera on the TV/front door already. Knowing when they come and go is huge. At least monitor the doors, even if they don't know

Remember at that age we all know it all and parents get in the way of fun. If he has the solid base and backing he will be fine, he may have to sew his oats a little.

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