Author Topic: Raising twin boys (Read 111898 times)

dave945 · « **Reply #400 on:** September 03, 2020, 04:59:48 PM »

Dang bad luck runs in streaks. Looks like it smart.

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stlaser · « **Reply #401 on:** September 03, 2020, 09:00:16 PM »

Tell him chics dog scars.....

Flyin6 · « **Reply #402 on:** September 03, 2020, 09:21:02 PM »

Scars go well with men
Good starting collection right there

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #403 on:** September 03, 2020, 09:31:57 PM »

I tried to explain the names of each sport and how each sport should reflect the tools you use. Baseball-basketball are not the same

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EL TATE · « **Reply #404 on:** September 04, 2020, 09:41:19 AM »

Baseketball

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #405 on:** September 04, 2020, 05:38:24 PM »

Quote from: EL TATE on September 04, 2020, 09:41:19 AM

Baseketball

Lol spaceballs

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Farmer Jon · « **Reply #406 on:** September 07, 2020, 01:19:31 PM »

The chicks dig it.

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Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #407 on:** October 08, 2020, 11:23:58 AM »

The boys have been wanting to do “tricks” on their bikes. So we built the ramp. Considering they are five I’m ok with it, next it was dad can you from the 13 yr well let me see. “ used takould” comes into play with a little hold my beer, turned into the boys Mt bike rear wheel folding like a taco under 230 lbs of dad doing and landing a 180. The wheel folded but I stuck the landing

So I picked up the 13 a new wheel, I dropped off my old BMX bike for a freshener. Minus Covid keeping all the cool parts I always wanted when I was a boy, they fixed it up and I’m rolling.

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EL TATE · « **Reply #408 on:** October 08, 2020, 12:42:46 PM »

Dave, we had similar interests as kids I see. Haro Gt with bulldog grips and pegs. worked a full summer shagging the range at the country club for that bike. then it was stolen...

JR · « **Reply #409 on:** October 08, 2020, 01:45:05 PM »

When I was a kid the hot thing was a "stingray", but yep, I have built ramps to now. I won't go there,,,,,,,,

TexasRedNeck · « **Reply #410 on:** October 08, 2020, 03:14:34 PM »

Redline and Diamondback were the cool bikes in my day

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Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #411 on:** October 08, 2020, 05:04:33 PM »

Quote from: JR on October 08, 2020, 01:45:05 PM

When I was a kid the hot thing was a "stingray", but yep, I have built ramps to now. I won't go there,,,,,,,,

Hey what is a stingray

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JR · « **Reply #412 on:** October 08, 2020, 05:27:44 PM »

Your just jealous of the old banana seat

EL TATE · « **Reply #413 on:** October 09, 2020, 09:28:08 AM »

Quote from: Bigdave_185 on October 08, 2020, 05:04:33 PM

Quote from: JR on October 08, 2020, 01:45:05 PM
When I was a kid the hot thing was a "stingray", but yep, I have built ramps to now. I won't go there,,,,,,,,
Hey what is a stingray

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Think this should clear things up .

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #414 on:** October 09, 2020, 05:10:46 PM »

That’s thing has some style. The curves and all. Really an open spot for me to join a new hobby of collecting schiff I don’t need

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Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #415 on:** October 16, 2020, 01:49:49 PM »

I did a thing a few weeks ago

Have any of you hear of ODD
Oppositional defiance disorder?

It’s an expanded version of ADD.

Max my youngest of the two Has been giving me and momma a run for our money and the school teacher and the day care lady

The logic is they push back for no other reason then to simply push back

More to follow and hope some of you might have some input. I love this kid and we have involved a councler to see if we can give some other tools to work with besides his temper ( the one just like dads)

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Nate · « **Reply #416 on:** October 16, 2020, 03:23:25 PM »

As stated in many of those leadership books you were asking about,

The change has got to start with you! If you know you have a bad temper, work on that first.

I say that because i have seen it too much in this day and age that parents want to blame everything on something or someone else instead of fixing them first.......that spills over into our kids because they look to us for everything and it also spills over at work and causes a majority of the issues there as well.

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #417 on:** October 16, 2020, 04:01:51 PM »

Well I didn’t want you to tell me my pot is as black as the little kettle. Geese

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Nate · « **Reply #418 on:** October 16, 2020, 06:39:05 PM »

I have my skeletons as well

TexasRedNeck · « **Reply #419 on:** October 17, 2020, 10:42:31 AM »

Dave, I do my best to follow scripture as my guide. I did not spare the rod, however now that they are 14/17 it’s a different kind of punishment.

Also, always be consistent and never lie to them. Actions have consequences. It’s always an if-then statement and the consequences are immediate and exactly as I told them. Resist the “because I said so” and be willing to explain your decision making. It’s normal for kids to challenge authority but teach them how to do it. Respectfully through questioning and not through emotional outbursts. Find out what matters most to them as they get older and take that away from them as a punishment. For mine it’s been the phone or keeping them out of dance events.

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Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #420 on:** November 08, 2020, 10:49:59 AM »

The boy decided to punt the daycare guy in the nutz. He spent the evening in a bar still as dad tried not to laugh at his little tantrum

I’m on my last week of work and will be home for this little boy to see if we can become best friends before he kills me. I’m getting nervous and excited about the choice but I feel it will be right in the end

Get both boys on a home schedule. Transition to momma taking over as she is working from home for ever more due to covid and I’ll end up back in a job likely in Saltlake city commuting again.

For the time being that is our household plan

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stlaser · « **Reply #421 on:** November 08, 2020, 12:49:31 PM »

Dave, take this for what it’s worth which is my 2 cents.

Don’t let him know you think that is funny first of all. Second if my kids were bad for mom and I that was one thing. If they were bad for someone else it was a whole other level of chit they had gotten themselves into. With that said I can only think of one time I had an issue and it was a couple years ago with my oldest and a bank teller just trying to do her job / follow dumb banking rules. Baylee, at the threat of losing her vehicle drove back and made an in person apology. She was 16 I think at the time. Dad don’t f around with respect to others. They understand to question things but be respectful.

The punishment was sitting on a bar stool? Ask anyone of my kids what would have happened had they done something like that and they would laugh at the suggestion of that as a punishment.

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #422 on:** November 08, 2020, 02:00:38 PM »

You can’t not say what punishment was!

He doesn’t really responded to a whoopin, past point of daycare seeing bruises and asking legal question.

Restricting him from his favorite activities is about as far as it goes anymore once someone suggest the “ child abuse “ has taken place,

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stlaser · « **Reply #423 on:** November 08, 2020, 03:21:07 PM »

I’m not sure I ever had to spank my kids, maybe once or twice when they were really little. Sorry, it’s been awhile and I honestly don’t recall. Mom has done it several times. But here’s the thing Dave, when her or I are mad apparently we’re pretty scary and the punishments are not fun and can last a awhile.

JR · « **Reply #424 on:** November 08, 2020, 03:54:13 PM »

Mom has never laid a hand on our kids, I have. The youngest has threatened to "turn me in" until I tell him it is still legal even here in Komiland.

Last week the youngest pushed my wife, I about lost it. Told him he was lucky I didn't "Push him" He has a temper we are working on, and working.

Now, we know it is note funny what your son did, but that smirk says diff.

Got luck on the job stuff.

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #425 on:** November 16, 2020, 10:31:11 AM »

Day #1 of state at home dad!!

Kids were up early, fed a good breakfast, teeth brushed and at school early.

Now what to do!!!

I checked tire pressure on the Jetta, one tire always goes a little low.

Next up? Clean out my phone of old work junk and continue to simplify my life

Figured I could read a book or two. I have also wanted to polish up some management certifications. So I’ll look at what online classes I can do

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Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #426 on:** November 16, 2020, 04:08:14 PM »

Lunch finished, now on to homework and naps

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Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #427 on:** April 03, 2021, 09:21:13 PM »

Today I achieved one of my life goals!!

I have two boys who love to ride!!!
We had such a great time out at the badlands. Mud, water, hills, wrecks, sunburns!!

Oh I think this smile will be burned into my cheeks from watching them ride today!!

I’ll spend that $100 on fuel every chance I get to keep them riding.

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JR · « **Reply #428 on:** April 04, 2021, 02:21:34 PM »

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #429 on:** May 25, 2021, 08:46:59 PM »

It’s official they have finished kindergarten

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JR · « **Reply #430 on:** May 25, 2021, 09:06:11 PM »

Flyin6 · « **Reply #431 on:** May 26, 2021, 07:11:25 PM »

Cool!

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #432 on:** February 07, 2022, 06:44:52 PM »

I guess I didn’t post the car keying incident in here

But today is the last day on the boys calendar of his grounding/punishment.

We had a talk in the garage to clarify the need to respect other peoples things and to keep our own things nice.
He still remembers why he lost all of his privileges, he understands they can be taken away again.
Do I feel he has learned what a six year old can learn from this year. Do I think it will last long? I have high hopes but only time will tell.

Off to the races after expressing love and appreciation. Followed with a big hug.

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Flyin6 · « **Reply #433 on:** February 07, 2022, 06:58:45 PM »

Good work, Dad!

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #434 on:** July 07, 2022, 10:28:47 PM »

Friends question.

Neighbor has two boys. One is the same age as the twins, the other is 12 yrs old, the two boys don’t seem to go anywhere separate.
When all four of the boys get together the 12 yr old become the “parent” or “boss” of the three younger boys.

I find it odd on many levels, nothing inappropriate I or the wife have seen.

I think the boy will be affected mentally by only spending time with kids half his age, I think the three younger boys are being affected by not being able to play as they wish or doing what they should do.

Tonight they played dodgeball all the trampolines, I had to tell the older boy time to get off the tramp. The other boys wanted a chance. All the dumb rules he made up for such a simple game, you can block the ball now, you can not duck from the ball, you have to jump over the ball. All rules helped the much larger kid but hindered the younger boys.

Thoughts? Ideas on how to not alienate the neighbor when I call and say “hey your kids to flipping old to be playing with six yr kids. He needs real friends”?

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JR · « **Reply #435 on:** July 07, 2022, 10:39:51 PM »

I think being older may help with maturity as long as it doesn't go to his head. If there are the same age kids around, maybe get them involved somehow.

Go with the older rules that make it a level playing field.

Flyin6 · « **Reply #436 on:** July 08, 2022, 01:06:45 PM »

Sounds to me as though the 12 year old needs to feel he is in control. That is somewhat natural, but can be unhealthy. I'd watch it to ensure he doesn't stifle the younger boys or get too out of control. Best to keep kids playing with others closer in age

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #437 on:** July 08, 2022, 01:12:58 PM »

Quote from: Flyin6 on July 08, 2022, 01:06:45 PM

Sounds to me as though the 12 year old needs to feel he is in control. That is somewhat natural, but can be unhealthy. I'd watch it to ensure he doesn't stifle the younger boys or get too out of control. Best to keep kids playing with others closer in age

That’s how I feel. I can’t come up with a way to not alienate the neighbor or the kid but encourage them to do just as you said.
When Me an y buddies we’re teenage we had a kids maybe 8 yrs younger then us, liked to skateboard and bike with us. He was a good kid and we helped him stay out of trouble (mostly)
We all still associate in various things in adult life but I feel that’s different to and extent he didn’t have anyone his age in the area, took him in like a little brother so to speak.

This kid as you said like to be the boss

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Flyin6 · « **Reply #438 on:** July 08, 2022, 01:17:33 PM »

Tracking...

A kid who is over-exerting his authority could be telegraphing some problem he is having at home. Control freak father or less likely, mother. That child could be on the path to becoming a bully.

Good thing you noticed it

Suggestion, Broach the subject with the boy's dad. Watch his reaction, i.e., read his body language. Easy going and probably nothing there. Defensive or a bad feeling, and likely you discovered something. In any event you just made everyone aware that you are watching. Do that and you'll likely see a change of some kind

My thoughts

EL TATE · « **Reply #439 on:** July 08, 2022, 01:49:12 PM »

I was going to say sounds like a lot of the products of helicopter moms I saw in WA, usually little girls though. made up rules of the made up games constantly change to suit the situation. Sophie would just tell them to bugger off and ask us not to invite them over again, but she's a lot like her mom, low patience for BS

TexasRedNeck · « **Reply #440 on:** July 08, 2022, 01:53:39 PM »

Here’s a thought. Have the younger kids gang up on him and beat him silly and put him in his place….

(Just kidding …kind of)

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Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #441 on:** July 08, 2022, 03:49:42 PM »

Quote from: EL TATE on July 08, 2022, 01:49:12 PM

I was going to say sounds like a lot of the products of helicopter moms I saw in WA, usually little girls though. made up rules of the made up games constantly change to suit the situation. Sophie would just tell them to bugger off and ask us not to invite them over again, but she's a lot like her mom, low patience for BS

The father is a step dad like me, he has no authority over the other boy. The youngest (my kids age) is his. Mom

is that type of mom.
Iv kinda hinted at it to the dad he doesn’t really do anything

I also know that my kids would be the outcasts if I said something to the mom. She sends her kids to my house almost as a last resort it seems.

I’ll see if I can bring it up again.

As Charles suggested I do encourage all three of the littles to not let him make up stupid rules. But I have yet to see anything

Keep watching close and see what happens

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Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #442 on:** October 16, 2022, 05:08:38 PM »

Here is a few of the boys as they have continued to grow

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Flyin6 · « **Reply #443 on:** October 16, 2022, 07:04:40 PM »

Hold it! Why is one taller than the other?

JR · « **Reply #444 on:** October 16, 2022, 07:19:42 PM »

Dave, you need a shave!

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #445 on:** October 16, 2022, 07:19:46 PM »

He out weighs him by almost twenty pounds too

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Flyin6 · « **Reply #446 on:** October 16, 2022, 07:31:40 PM »

Quote from: Bigdave_185 on October 16, 2022, 07:19:46 PM

He out weighs him by almost twenty pounds too

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Dr give you any insight as to why the profound difference?

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #447 on:** October 17, 2022, 12:57:15 AM »

Quote from: Flyin6 on October 16, 2022, 07:31:40 PM

Quote from: Bigdave_185 on October 16, 2022, 07:19:46 PM
He out weighs him by almost twenty pounds too

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Dr give you any insight as to why the profound difference?

When they were in mom one of them got the majority of the nutrients, they had almost a two pound difference at birth

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Flyin6 · « **Reply #448 on:** October 17, 2022, 12:04:52 PM »

Quote from: Bigdave_185 on October 17, 2022, 12:57:15 AM

Quote from: Flyin6 on October 16, 2022, 07:31:40 PM
Quote from: Bigdave_185 on October 16, 2022, 07:19:46 PM
He out weighs him by almost twenty pounds too

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Dr give you any insight as to why the profound difference?
When they were in mom one of them got the majority of the nutrients, they had almost a two pound difference at birth

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Hmmm
Too late to talk to her about the pre-natal handling of those boys. Guess you're stuck with what ya got ;-)

Bigdave_185 · « **Reply #449 on:** January 28, 2023, 01:37:32 PM »

Just learned my from my one son that the other boy was throwing ice chunks at cars on his way home from school yesterday.
Life lesson would have been great had a neighbor whooped his butt for doing it.

I guess he will be doing the other boys chores all morning, he will repeat said chores every day for a week.
Hopefully at the end of the week he will know what chores to do.

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