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Offline rcampbell

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Where to start?
« on: November 23, 2015, 12:36:31 PM »
So I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I'm not sure how to proceed. First, a little bit about me. I've essentially been raised Presbyterian, but never really went to church much. My parents had us 3 boys, so perhaps they needed their own rest come Sunday. I did go to church some when I was young, then it was mostly only at Christmas, and now, basically not at all.

The last several years have been interesting. I'm 33 years old. I'm a volunteer fire-fighter, a step-dad to a 16 year old boy, and recently, a my wife and I had our first baby, a baby girl who is 14 months old now. This situation provides me with lots of opportunity to think about how to handle situations, how to react to things, why things happen the way they do etc. For example, one kid experimenting with alcohol, and the other learning to walk, all in the same day!

As far as faith goes, I must say, I don't miss the act of going to a building, hearing the gossip of the neighbours, and then listening to a minister, who in a lot of cases, speaks so generically so as to get a message to everyone that I can't find a lot of meaning for my specific life. But I must say, I do envy the comfort and reassurance many people of faith seem to have from either reading the bible, or going to church etc.

So how do I proceed. My fatherly, and community responsibilities keep me from being a Sunday church-goer. Would just reading the bible be a good alternative? Are there more practical ways a fellow could achieve the same result?

Thanks for your time everyone, looking forward to hearing from you.

Offline Dawg25385

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Re: Where to start?
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2015, 01:00:54 PM »
You're going to get a range of responses on this one :D Everybody's different, and not all church "experiences" are the same.

Church is an opportunity for fellowship, worship, and also hearing the Word.

Personally, I'm pretty introverted. My church is very small, with a lot of family in the congregation. So the main value I get is behind door number 3 (the Word). My father-in-law is the Sr. Pastor, also a professor of Theology, so generally the sermon's are very good, and more of a teacher's style, which I like. We all kind of have our roles at church too... Father in law is pastor and plays bass in the band, brother in law runs the sound board, my wife runs the computer/projector, other brother in law plays drums, sister in law plays guitar... My mother in law and me are normally wrangling kids (not even mine!), and I keep my eye on the door and people coming in.

Personally, I don't get a heck of a lot of additional fellowship at church, because the people I'm close with are family, and I see them all the time anyway. I get a lot of fellowship from the RM community as a matter of fact. Worship, again, i'm more introverted, so not really too keen on singing publicly or waving my hands around :).  I find that I am closest to God when I'm outside, on a nice day, doing something with my hands, with some peace and quiet to think and pray. Or driving in my truck alone :) But I rarely leave church wishing I hadn't come...

Do get yourself a Bible, or even the Bible app on your phone. There's also a lot of churches that Podcast their sermons. You can download those and listen from anywhere. 

Good stuff man! Glad you felt comfortable to open up here with these questions! That's what it's about

You'll get much different answers than mine i'm sure, but that's the cool part... everybody's different.
« Last Edit: November 23, 2015, 01:03:54 PM by Dawg25385 »
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Offline rasimmo

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Re: Where to start?
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2015, 01:30:11 PM »
As Dawg said, church is different for everyone. I like the fellowship of gathering with like minded people. I was raised in some gossip filled hypocritical churches so I know all about that. I attend a large church now. The sermons are great, but one of the first things I checked out was the security plan. If it ain't fairly easy to see from being observant than it probably ain't real good. Leaving my child in the care of others is unsettling unless I know several measures are being taken for her protection. We also have a Saturday evening service that makes it easier to attend for a lot of folks.

I actually get more knowledge and information from a group of guys I meet with for a weekly bible study. There are several churches and denominations represented in the group and I like it. The main thing for me is surrounding yourself with strong men of God. The kind you can share with, learn from, and be held accountable to without judgement. That's not just a one day a week thing. That needs to be a way of life. You should be able to have your "friends" and your children together without worrying about the influence it might have on your kids. They learn from everyone around them and it is your job to control who's doing the teaching.



Offline EL TATE

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Re: Where to start?
« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2015, 01:54:41 PM »
Where to start is right! So many similarities here: 35, 17 yr old stepson, 5 year old daughter, WA local... Mostly Lutheran background, but I favor non-denominational as they seem to be less concerned about dogma than living and learning. I have backed away from organized religion as a whole, but have to admit that I do miss the fellowship. there is a new church opening up just blocks from my house now, so I'm thinking about giving it a shot.

Like the other gentleman have stated and more will after me, it's about you, where you feel the most growth, where you feel your family will benefit the most from attending. Getting multiple perspectives often helps us find our own true understanding of a subject, sometimes 180deg from what we thought it would be. that's hard to do on your own, I know.

I can say this, because I still don't have the answer: figure out what you're looking for, and you'll be able better decide on the place you need to go to find it.

God bless. 
« Last Edit: November 23, 2015, 01:55:26 PM by EL TATE »
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Offline Atkinsmatt

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Re: Where to start?
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2015, 02:28:08 PM »
I would say that getting a bible and spending time in it is never a bad thing.  I would recommend going to a church.  I say that not to force you but because we are told in the bible not to forsake gathering with other believers.

I will tell you that it can be hard to find the right church.  There are always going to be the gossiping neighbor types.  Doesn't matter where you are, church, work, school. 

As for the teachers and pastor, you reading the bible and being familiar with it are imperative. Don't just blindly take peoples word that is what it says.  Always read along and check that what they are saying is what the bible says.  If you visit somewhere that doesn't allow you to ask questions, you might want to consider another place.  The teacher and pastor are sinners just like everyone else.
 
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Offline Wilbur

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Re: Where to start?
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2015, 02:35:40 PM »
As others have said there is no one "right path" and that's okay. You have to find what works best for you an your family. I was raised Episcopalian, my wife is Catholic and a regular church goer. When we had kids I liked the idea of Church as I figured it was a good way for them to hear "good from evil", "right from wrong", "how to treat people" etc. from someone other than just me and my wife and it might sink in more.

When the Catholic priest thing erupted my wife and I felt we couldn't go there any more and support what was being done to the victims by the Church years after the actual abuse. We found a really great Episcopal church close to us which was good as the masses are very close to what my wife had historically grown up with in Catholic masses. But they also had a "Safe Church" policy for kids (no adult can ever be alone with a child without another adult present, all adults have to go through CORI checks etc.). The priests can get married (I still have difficulty hearing marriage "advice" from someone who is not married themselves). And lastly the congregation was (and is) a very active outgoing focused group with lots of ministries here and elsewhere helping others who are less fortunate. So we have been part of that Church for 15 years now and really enjoy it.

I would take your time and look around. You may find parishes that have Saturday or weekday/night services that would work with your schedule. More and more churches are realizing the challenges of traditional Sunday AM services so many are doing things in more non-traditional ways to connect with folks. I have found it to be a very positive in my life and my kid's lives so I would urge you to take the time to look. But take your time looking- there are many "flavors" in churches and even within churches of the same denomination so just because you went to one and weren't happy about it that does not mean another church of the same denomination 10 miles the other way will be the same. It may be entirely different and you may really like it. The good thing is most churches now have websites that can help you narrow the choices to ones that would seem to fit you and your family's circumstances and needs.

I am also a "Find the good in people" kind of person as opposed to the "Fire and Brimstone" kind of approach....around here lots of Churches have signs out with a saying for people driving by. Many of them have the "Wrath of God" kind of sayings and for me I would not check out a place like that (nothing wrong with folks who prefer that style, its just not me)....but some other parishes have pretty reflective uplifting sayings and (again this is just for me) I would check one of those out. I say this as it may be another way for you to find one that first your needs.   Good luck to you!     

Offline Flyin6

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Re: Where to start?
« Reply #6 on: November 23, 2015, 08:09:58 PM »
Seems like a ton of good advice here.

I'll say although a church can help, can minister to your needs, and be a place to grow, what's really important is getting to know God, and Jesus, and the holy spirit.

They are really all the same person, but for simplicity, I'll settle on Jesus.

The first thing that happens in someone's walk is God calls them. Yup, he creates a stirring in your heart. It may be a letter from heaven with the bold statement, "Get Right With God" stamoped on it, or it might be more subtle. Like, say, for example you meet a bunch of guys on a web site who all love the Lord and you see something in them. A kinship, a genuine caring. They seem, well, Real!

You coming here is no accidient, not a chance. It was on purpose, whether you hit search and found this place, or happened to be working on your D-Max and found the thread over on D-max forums. That was intentional. If not by you, then by your heavenly father.

Having come here you should have gotten a healthy dose of truth, and from guys who have nothing to gain from you or your conversion should you come to know a real, totally alive Jesus. Actually we all get another buddy in heaven if you make the decision, but aside from that we only care in that when someone loves the Lord like all of us do, we yearn for others to come to know him as well. They say misery loves company, well I guess saved people love company as well.

And on that note, churches are the "Club-houses" where we go to meet our friends and hang out. And (the bible says) if two or more are gathered in his name, he will come.

The Baptist church I used to go to felt like a class. The assembly of God church I went to before felt like a family. The Pentecostal church I go to now plays with rattlesnakes!

Naw just kidding, no rattle snakes, we use copperheads! Naw, still pullin' your leg. My flavor which is suitable for the Don likes spirit filled worship. I like to move, I like to get happy. I like to feel God settle on the room and I like seeing the utter power of the spirit being demonstrated. Yea demonstrated, as in miraculous things happening before your eyes. If ever you or any of you for that matter come through the northern tucky, come with me to a service and see for yourself.

I think God is calling you. Jesus can save those whom God calls. If you are willing to give up everything you have, your life...so that you can get life eternal, then accepting Jesus through believing in him, who he is, what he is, and what he did for you, then professing with your mouth something like "Jesus save me" or you can get all wordy and go on for a half hour, but all you need to do is the simple steps and you will be instantly saved.

The holy spirit will come upon you immediately, and it will never leave you, not for a single moment ever. Through death, the physical death he will be with you. At some point during your walk with Christ, you may become spirit filled and when and if that happens, well, brother, you won't be ready when that prayer language comes rushing out. It doesn't happen to me, but you'd think my wife spoke fluent Aramaic!

Salvation is totally you. We can't make a thin dime's worth of difference other than to stand with you, to guide you, to lead you, and to help you along the way. Personally, I'll volunteer to be that guy should you choose me. I'm more than sure any of the other guys here would and will do the same. If they don't I'll fire them!

Take a look at the vid link I posted this morning about how to talk to God. Also take a look at the salvation verse sticky. Pray first for God to open your mind, then meditate on him for a moment, then read those scripture.

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Offline rcampbell

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Re: Where to start?
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2015, 09:51:19 PM »
I am very touched that you all took the time to write such sincere and thoughtful words, thank you for that.

I will do as most of you have suggested and keep my eyes open for a church that might suit me, both in terms of my schedule and what I'm looking to get out of it.

It's hard to say for sure, but I would think it started soon after I became a father. I started thinking differently about how I see things, and what things I value. Started re-assessing what's important and who's important. As Don said, perhaps there's a reason I find my self here on this site, with such a helpful bunch of fellows.

I believe I shall start reading, and familiarize myself with the scripture. I surely will need some guidance, and will more than likely have questions or feel like discussing things. The welcoming comments and suggestions I've received from all of you will make that much easier I'm sure!

Offline rasimmo

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Re: Where to start?
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2015, 10:48:16 PM »
Youngins have a way of doing that to us. Mine just turned 3 and I have surely changed a lot in that amount of time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEYjSQipL60

The first time I heard that song was the day after my little girl was born. My wife played it from the hospital bed while I was staring at our baby in one of those rolling, clear, plastic cribs. I started spinning that thing around the room dancing with my baby girl the best I could. And man did I shed some teers. Yep, God changes us when we are given the blessing and responsibility of one of his miracles.

Offline Flyin6

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Re: Where to start?
« Reply #9 on: November 23, 2015, 10:49:03 PM »
Bible = Great Start

Pay attention to what is said in the salvation scriptures we posted. It is important for you to understand what God expects you to understand about you first needing to get to know Jesus.

There is a hard to accept fact about the bible. It reads one of two ways. To the believer, one who has given their lives over to Jesus, God uses the scripture to speak to us. Two of us can read the same scripture, yet glean the same and different things from it. It's a communication tool from God. The translator to open the scripture, akin to unlocking a code, is the holy spirit, or holy ghost as he is called by some flavors of religion, or the "Messenger" as the bible refers to him.

The other way, is rather like a book. The non believer can glean historical information and chronological facts from it and get to see how Jesus talked to us...in parables. But the word will not "Speak" to the non believer. Think of the holy spirit as that thing on star trek called the universal translator. in one end of it a rock creature would make clicking and metallic sounds, but out of the speaker came an English voice, "Hello, we come in peace..."

So you can and should very well explore over the bible. Pay a lot of attention to the new testament. Romans, and all the epistles are chock full of good information and insight and history and an insight into who Jesus was. Read that stuff, but spend an equal amount of time talking to Jesus.

A good technique is to find a private place. Get yourself a comfortable chair because in the future you will find yourself in there often. The movie "War room" illustrates the prayer closet that was used to such great effect. Across from your chair place another chair. When you pray, do it like you were talking to an imaginary person sitting in that chair. Imagine Jesus himself is sitting in that chair, and just talk to him. Ask him questions. Talk to him about how men in churches turned you off to going to church. Tell him about the fakeness you have witnessed. Just talk. Do that for awhile every day.

When something you can't believe happens...say like when a perfect stranger talks to you and answers one of the questions he/she knows nothing about, please share that with us. It is always nice to share actual encounters with God, and when that person says something they should not know, then you'll know that God just showed up.
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Offline Atkinsmatt

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Re: Where to start?
« Reply #10 on: November 24, 2015, 08:12:00 AM »
Like Don said, God speaks to you His way, in His time.

Before I started teaching Sunday school steady, I was in my comfort zone.  Then I was approached about the possibility of teaching the middle school age youth boy's class.  I said that I would pray about it (translate into I don't want to).  Within 4 weeks, 3 different people approached me about the same thing and my answer was the same until the last one.  I finally heard what God was saying and listened.  God uses all kinds of ways to get His message to us.  His mission will be accomplished and it is to our benefit to be obedient.
Matt
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