Do we have a "Joke" thread?

[Flyin6]

I don't think so

and this isn't very funny, but I thought I'd share before going on.

Near us there is a "Bad part of town" in Cincinnati, called Over-the-Rhine.

I'll get to the funny part later, but the national news, like usual is not forthcoming on what is really happening, go figure

So the local (suppressed) news is all about the recent murders in that area.

Seems there is some demented person who is kidnapping young women. He takes them to some apartment where he drowns them in a tub full of milk

Sick...

They say he could be a serial killer...

[Flyin6]

And the other day Dave was flying to europe on his family's vacation this year.

They took off from Kennedy on the transatlantic flight onboard a KLM A-340, 4-engine jumbo.

Dave has a fear of flying,which is known to few.

He was telling me that shortly after takeoff and in the climb out, he looked out the window and just like that the engine ingested a large bird. The effect was amazing with fire belching out of either end followed by vibrations then a sound like the thing was winding down

It really scared him, but the pilot soon announced over the intercom that they had experienced an engine failure on their four engine aircraft and it looks like the flight will be landing an hour later.

Amazing, Dave thought, that the pilot didn't elect to return, but knowing just how smart pilots are and also knowing that they think in higher ways than he does, he accepted it and took a short nap

He said he was a bit apprehensive to look out the window again, but returning from the lav on the opposite aisle he slid into an unoccupied seat to stare out at a beautiful moon in the night sky. That's when he noticed the clumps of ice that had formed on the wing when climbing through the clouds and wouldn't you know it...but just like that a large section broke away and was ingested into a second engine!

No kidding!

And just like the last time, this engine blew flame and sparks out of either end as it spun itself to an unbalanced death. And just like before the ever comfort inspiring pilot spoke calmly on the intercom, insuring the passengers that the aircraft can easily fly on two engines but the flight would be delayed another hour due to the loss of speed.

Most of the passengers were reassured, but not Dave. I believe he said that somehow he thought he was causing these strange engine failures, but noted to himself that as long as he didn't peer outside, all would be well.

Well, that was the end of all that and after enjoying a bourbon that the captain had comped every passenger, he drifted off to a restful sleep.

I believe it was a couple hours later, around mid atlantic that the aircraft ran into some moderate turbulence which both woke dave and startled everyone else. As I understand it, not sure what had just happened, and no longer mindful of his paranoia about causing engine failures, he opened the window shade just in time to witness a bolt of lightening strike the only operating engine left on his side of the plane.

The aircraft yawed some as the motor flamed out and the opposite engine was shoved up to full power, but in short order, the aircraft seemed to have been wrestled back into shape and was still flying. And just like before, the pilot, confident as ever, made his announcement,"Ladies and Gentlemen, It seems tonight is just not our night, and a lightening strike has caused a third engine failure. This aircraft is designed to maintain flight on just one engine and when we dump a little fuel to lose weight we will be able to maintain altitude and a decent speed. Unfortunately though, we will now be arriving three hours later than scheduled.

That's when Dave lost it

Passengers recorded him on their phones

He jumped out of his seat and started yelling hysterically!

It's all a bit difficult to understand but the part of the vid that I heard, you could clearly hear him say, "If that forth engine fails, we'll be up here all night!"

[KensAuto]

Hahaha. Did the flight originate in SLC?

[Bigdave_185]

I have a few choice words that will promptly get deleted from the thread so I will leave well enough alone

Will someone call H to come get Ken

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[KensAuto]

;p

[Flyin6]

So, this string walks into a bar and orders a drink

The Bartender tells him "We don't serve strings in here!" and throws him out

The String, bewildered but still thirsty twists himself all up and loosens up one of his ends

and Walks back in

The Bartender, thinking he has seen this guy before asks, "Say there, I think I've seen you before, are you a string?"

The string looks him dead in the eye and says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot"

[TexasRedNeck]

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[Flyin6]

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Point of order...

Not a joke

Just a statement of fact !

8-/

[TexasRedNeck]

Roger.  Point taken.


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[Flyin6]

Time for another joke:

Congressman Adam Schiff

Pretty funny, eh?