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Offline Higher Caliber

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The Tactical Pause
« on: September 24, 2014, 07:43:13 AM »
I'm just going to put this right here- Not sure where else to put it. I author a brief which is mostly distributed amongst LE but the theories in some of the briefs are really applicable to the most of us. Just ignore the cop references and focus on the content... (Moderator's note-maybe we could make a section for these?)

Officer involved suicides

I am going to preface this entire brief by saying I am no psychologist or philosopher or any particular caliber of emotional ninja. I am often even described as “black and white” or “emotionally unattached” or, “lacking emotion”. Sound like anyone else you know? Much like the readership here, I have sat through countless hours of death by power point on emotional survival and suicide prevention. I have even said to myself, “If I have to sit through one more of these classes, I might just kill myself to make a freaking point”. All of that aside, this is not a brief about not killing yourself. You can get that somewhere else. This is a brief about why officers kill themselves and how we should respond to it. I’ll try not to get all touchy feely here. If I do slap me around in reply! I realize suicide is not a laughing matter, but forgive my political incorrectness if I crack a joke here and there. We would do it in the squad so cut me some slack on this platform.

We deal with the scum of the earth and the by-product of the scum of the earth on a daily basis. Rarely in the course of events do people call us to tell us about how good of a day they had and to offer us an intelligent conversation on… anything. If this happens to you, let me know where you work because I’m going to put in my application. We deal with this day in and day out sandwiched with long periods of pure boredom and trying not to wreck our cars. People expect us to bring instantaneous order to situations that took twenty years to culminate.

Elderly death scenes, infant death scenes, fatality car accidents involving entire families and other situations that spike your adrenaline output higher than the majority of the world will ever understand is the manner in which we roll. Now I hate to make a generalized statement here, but the majority of cops I know don’t have fleeting thoughts of suicide when you sit down in a car after a hot call. Maybe later, you might want to kill yourself to save yourself from the paperwork but it’s generally not these events that shake us… initially.
But they do pay a toll. Your brain, your emotions, your feelings are like any other part of your body that’s subject to trauma. I’m not talking about stress. We shake off stress. Trauma leaves a mark. If you don’t believe this, you are ignorant. Go drink some beers and come back and tell me if you don’t feel a little different, then we will go get your head examined because you are a rare case my friend. Let me paint you a picture.

Tackleberry is high speed low drag copper/swat operator, with ten years on the job. He’s seen a thing or two. He has the occasional nightmares of the room full of dead bodies or the greyhound bus involved in a fender bender in which he has to collect information from ALL of the passenger’s on, but other than that he’s pretty boring. Tackleberry is generally well liked amongst other officer’s. He’s been described as slightly “high strung” or “wound up tight” but he puts in his hours and goes home to his pretty little misses and babies after every shift and watches his DVR’d play-off games like the rest of us.

One day he finds out he’s been wrote up for violating policy on an arrest he’s made. He doesn’t really think it was a big deal but the administration believes he should be forced to resign or be terminated. Two days later after hearings with city hall he comes home and finds out the little misses is going to leave him and take the babies to Cinci-freaking-nnati to stay with her sister because all of the sudden, she’s “afraid of him”. We can all agree that Tackleberry is sucking right now.
 
In any lesser individual, this would be a breaking point all in itself. But Tackleberry is a big strong tough guy remember, swat operator? High speed low drag type of guy? Tackleberry get’s on the family computer and is searching for some help to deal with his impending disciplinary action and stumbles across a chat log between the little misses and some A-Hole! Tackleberry decides to do what any red blooded American man would do in this situation and he looks for solace in the bottom of a bottle of really expensive bourbon his… soon to be… *ex* father in law got him for Christmas one year. The solace at the bottom of the bottle is overshadowed by a billowing rage within him. He sends the estranged little misses some text messages along the lines of “the world would be better off without me” and shuts his phone off. The little misses all of the sudden cares deeply for Tackleberry so she sends his beat brothers to the house to “check his welfare”.

This is where you come in, and this is where you need to be on your “A” game my friend. First we need to understand a little bit about why big tough cops commit suicide. We say it’s a completely selfish act! Tackleberry feels he has no one to account to at this point, how could it be selfish?! We say coppers who kill themselves are cowards! Tackleberry once drug your ass out of a bar when you got knocked the hell out with no regard for his own safety! We say he’s just seeking attention, he won’t do it. Tackleberry knows this is how you are thinking and he just may feel enough peer pressure to carry it out in order not to prove you right. Seasoned cops are hard people; we find this truth to be self evident.

A half a career of events have carved his, mine, our brains into the guy that jokes about how bad the rotting corpse of an unattended death smells in August! A half a career finding ourselves pushing through situations that scare the hell out of us carve our brains into the guy who respects death but doesn’t fear it. Takleberry has the tools and the ability and now the entire shift is screaming silent to rescue their hurting brother and there is nothing more important in their mind! STOP!

We have found the problem! There WERE so many things more important in their minds up until this very moment, nobody bothered to check on him before it got to this point! We all think we are emotionally invincible and all of our coworkers are too. We don’t like to think about the guy who “drug our ass out of the bar when we got knocked out” could be the same guy, crying in his bath tub, about to suck start his Glock!

If you thought this was going to be a brief on tactics, I hope my creative imagery has kept you reading up to this point at least because that was where the butter meets the bread. No tac brief here guys. No critical thinking questions and no learning objective this week. It is something to think about though. Don’t be so situational*ly* aware of things that can hurt you from the outside that it clouds the things that can constantly hurt you on the inside. I heard the term “Cumulative PTSD” mentioned in a power point somewhere, one time, half awake. Basically it’s the culmination of all the bad stuff we deal with taking an emotional toll on us that leaves us weak or susceptible to things happening in our own lives. It’s generally *not* the sequence of work related events that causes us to kill ourselves. These events make us stronger externally, but it weakens the armor, internally and we are confused by this. In a normal course of daily events we may never notice we are a hurting unit. We can shake off the toxic daily happenings. However, when you sustain a catastrophic incident where it happens to you… the things you deal with from the public which aren’t supposed to happen to you… it might just be the trigger which sets the internally catastrophic wrecking ball in motion.

If you are aware of this potential, not only in yourself, but in your fellow brothers and sisters, you may just save a life. You never know when a simple phone call might just become the most meaningful and momentous occasion for a hurting friend. You wouldn’t turn your back on him out in the street, why would you do it now?

Stay Staunch,
Blaine Cornelius
"Lions mustn't concern themselves with the opinions of sheep"
           
                                    Molon Labe!

Offline Flyin6

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Re: The Tactical Pause
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2014, 08:19:36 AM »
OK bro,
Inhale...Exhale...Inhale...

I'd ask, You OK?

Bit rough for my morning read!

Having said that, the suicide thing Blaine references here is no stranger to soldiers either. Soldiers, meaning all warriors in all branches

There is an absolute pandemic of suicide which, thank the Lord, we are coming off of at the moment. But it is a big deal. The military is always going to cover it's dirty laundry to put on the good face. Like our officers on the street, warriors have to protect a nation, which for both sets of folks is a pretty heady mission to be sure.

I agree that we should be on the alert for the warning signs and intervene when something is not quite right. Not sure your person is trending that direction? Then get some help, professional help.

As a young officer in the Army I had to investigate a suicide of one of our young soldiers in Korea. It was all wrong. No one supported this kid, no one intervened, and nothing was done. The result was the meaningless loss of a life due to sadness. I got to be ground zero, and I'll not forget wondering what sort of a person this man was as I investigated, collected and organized my report, then presented to my superiors. Later on I had people die in the back of my aircraft as I raced to get them to an operating table, so I experienced both ends of that final call. I can say neither was good in any way, but to take one's own life, well if we could stop that...
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Offline cudakidd53

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Re: The Tactical Pause
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2014, 03:39:20 PM »
Regarding Suicide:

I try and always remember that it’s not mine to take, I surrendered it to God at an early age.  Beginning at an early age, I experienced loss of a sister, then a mother, then my core family structure due to a “Brady Bunch” episode gone badly with the introduction of a “step-monster” and her minions.  Practice wife of 13 years decides it’s over and I lost my kids for almost 7 years……….the up and down rollercoaster of loss and recovery; tempered by fire so to speak.

I’ve never had to watch someone die next to me; I’ve never been forced to take a life.  I have studied the black & white evidence photos of the train wreck that took my mother, and the colored ones of an single car accident that took the life of one of my students, while the student in the seat next to her survived.  Colleagues and other students die of disease and self-inflicted trauma and pure accidents.

Through it all, I want to see the next sunrise and to taste the “revenge” of living well and succeeding in the face of adversity.  I will not lie and state that the thought has never crossed my mind, during some of the darkest hours, but there is no sweeter way to say “F-you” to the inflicters of pain and misery than to rise up from the ashes of destruction and despair and to flourish in spite of it/them.

The Biblical illustration of the “heaping of coals” upon the heads of those who persecute you, was after the “practice wife” went out of her way to undermine my relationship with my older children who I went without seeing for 6 years, was when I wrote her a letter of recommendation to get a high paying job in the District that I worked in.  As often as possible, I met nasty with kind, bit my tongue and lived on.  My relationship with my current wife flourished and with the birth of my second daughter, my other children suddenly wanted “back in” to the picture.  Fast forward 9 years and it’s all good- even socialize with the “practice wife” as a family including my “forever wife” and daughter.  Some of the sweetest words I ever heard spoken, were by the “practice wife” when she finally admitted that she’d been wrong and screwed-up all those years ago, and I got to reply that if it weren’t for that happening, I wouldn’t be where I am today!

What’s the point to the entire story telling above: “though Christ, all things are possible” and “he is my strength and salvation”.   “Not through works of righteousness which we (I) have done, but according to his mercy he has saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Ghost.” –Titus 3:5

I cannot fathom how anyone could serve in the capacities that a Soldier or Officer of the Law do without the strength of The Lord behind you!  May those of us who’ve not served, remember to reach out to those who have and still do, in the spirit of fellowship and true concern.  God Bless you and all your brethern Blaine
2012 Silverado LTZ - Duramax
Christian since 1975 - Field Trial Brittanys - NRA Lifetime Member

"When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. Hence, dealing with this fact is not difficult. It is only hard for those still living around you.....It's the same when you're stupid."

Offline Flyin6

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Re: The Tactical Pause
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2014, 11:47:22 AM »
Banged up knee is just not healing like it should

About to get a second opinion.

So

Imagine a guy like me who suddenly can't workout!

Just the other day, a 2 year old came by and kicked sand in my eyes. I wanted to destroy him, but couldn't catch him! (lol smiley face)
Site owner    Isaiah 6:8, Psalm 91 
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Offline JR

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Re: The Tactical Pause
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2014, 12:16:34 AM »
Man, just saw this and so much of it hit home. Wish I could add anything to it and hope I never have to.

Don knows and I think a few of you know, I just retired after 25 years being a Deputy Sheriff. 2 years working inside Jails and 23 on the street.

 
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Offline cudakidd53

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Re: The Tactical Pause
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2014, 05:45:36 PM »
You sir have EARNED retirement!  Hoping you are enjoying EVERY day an that you have twice as long in retirement as you did in service! ;)
2012 Silverado LTZ - Duramax
Christian since 1975 - Field Trial Brittanys - NRA Lifetime Member

"When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. Hence, dealing with this fact is not difficult. It is only hard for those still living around you.....It's the same when you're stupid."

 

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