GENERAL TOPICS > Parenting

They went dumb...

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OldKooT:
Ever have one of those days where your fairly sure the kids went dumb? Today is that day for me....allow me to rant.

5:00am: My wife and I awake to begin the day,  it's very cold in the house. I grab my robe head down to the furnace room to find the corn boiler not running. The master power disconnect on the wall is in the down/off position and on the floor below it is a pile of shop-vac hose. So I returned the switch to the on position and went through the relight process and returned upstairs.

My wife asks what happened. I explain some idiot hung the shop vac hose on the switch, and the weight must have shut it off at some point. She then points to the wall thermostat for the forced air furnace and asks why that,s not working. I look at the switch and it's "off" ........a mystery for about two minutes, then my wife mentions she had the twins dust.

I flip it back on, the furnace lights, and we have heat until the boiler catches up and starts warming the in-floor system.

I then get dressed, swing open the door to the garage, and see my wife's car sitting there with the drivers door open and the rear hatch up...battery stone dead of course. She had the twins carry in groceries and guess what.....

So at this point I leave to check cattle and let her handle the lecturing. I get outside to my truck and go to unplug the block heater and it's not plugged in. In fact the cord is severed in half under the plow blade.....I hit the key anyway and no joy, the 6bt is not having it. It's about 4 degrees so no real surprise there. I remember the conversation...would one of you twins run out and plug my truck in..then a few min latter twin A mentioning she found a bag of sunflower seeds in the truck on the seat could she have some.... I get a mental picture of her leaning over to grab the bag, bumping the plows control switch....

Then it strikes me, the outside outlet is on the same circuit as the garden ponds circulation pump. A quick survey of that showed our new ice rink. After stomping a hole in the ice so the fish can breath, and resetting the circuit breaker....

Back in the house I go to have some words. My wife's in the shower so I slip into the bathroom to conference as to where we will hang said kids from. Suddenly I hear the garage door open, my wife's pickup is now running and my wife says.."so yeah the twins asked to borrow my truck they have a 5:30 am band practice..." I run to the door as they drive off leaving their parents with no wheels that will actually run, a frozen house, and my wife needs to be to work by Six.  AND they left the garage door open....

I take a quick count in my head of vehicles left on the property that will run...realize since I moved most to the hanger at the farm I have two possible choices...I run out to the shop and realize half way there the battery charger is at my sons house, he had borrowed it to de rust some old outboard motor he found. So now one choice... I get to the M37 in the pig barn...I throw the cover off it and hit the foot starter switch and it groans and starts turning over. I remember just about the time the batteries quit, that I had drained the carb of gas before I parked it for the winter.

I run across the property to the grainery where my 63VW Bug has been sitting for 4mo or so and jump in and hit the key. It started in two sec, how I do love those Germans.

So she got to work, everything else is now running, and I have been plotting my revenge........ but I swear those two girls just went dumb all in one 24 period of time.

cudakidd53:
Questions from the peanut gallery..........are they blonde?  (If not, you should schedule a day at the salon so that they mysteriously become so)

Have they learned how to splice, solder or generally mend severed extension cords?

How well do the chop ice on ice rinks?

Are they familiar with checking the fluid levels in batteries and properly attaching battery chargers?

When is the next time they'll need a vehicle and will it somehow have a dead battery with a door opened so that the farm cat can have a litter of kittens on the drivers seat?


Thanks for the laughs at your expense.........anyone with kids has been there in some way, shape or form.........just not so many all at once!  ;)

JR:
That was good, but there is no way you have 1 battery charger,,,,,,,,,,

OldKooT:
They are all Red haired like their Mom. Normally they are reliable responsible kids considering their age.

I went to the school and stole my wife's truck... I am sure they will sort out while riding the bus that they are not going to enjoy getting home.

EL TATE:
Norm, you can't make this stuff up! It's like I could here the clown music playing under the circus tent.

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