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Offline Flyin6

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Are we married to the same woman?
« on: November 23, 2015, 10:22:55 AM »
This is a repost from another thread where I posted it first. Thought I'd put it here for all to enjoy.

Wait a minute. Are we married to the same woman?

Don't think so

Yours kinda messy, but really pretty at the same time?
 Yours sign you up for all sorts of social things, yet never gets ready on time?
 Can yours drive? Properly? Safely?
 Is yours chatty? With everyone? Even total strangers? Even with folks who can't understand English?
 Does yours complain about you leaving your toothbrush out on the counter, but can't see the curlers, makeup, hairspray, hair dryer, face creams, skin lotions and brushes completely covering it?
 Does yours spend all day Saturday in bed?
 Does yours try on four blouses, then put them all in the dirty clothes?
 Do you have a really big walk in closet, but you only have a small space for your stuff?
 Like 5% of the total space?
 Does she have over a thousand coat hangars and you get thirteen?
 Does she complain that sometimes you snore, whereas she snores all the time?
 Does yours have lunch with different men every day, but glares at you if some woman says hi to you in church?
 Does yours know that a car needs periodic maintenance?
 When your wife talks to a friend...in the parking lot...for an hour...while your children are dying of starvation, does she leave the motor running as well?
 Did your wife ever show up to a date with you wearing two different high heels?
 Did your wife ever go to work, walk all the way in, before she noticed she wasn't wearing shoes?
 Is she blonde?
 With roots that go all the way down to her toes?
 If your wife wears a new pair of shoes, does she ever wear them again?
 Does your wife make it her life's purpose to fill up every cubic inch of space with useless plastic stuff, then demand you build a bigger house?
 Did your wife design your house? And if she did, then did she actually put a closet...inside a closet?
 Does your wife immediately love everyone she ever saw?
 Does she have a six figure Facebook friends list?
 Is everything she owns hers? And everything you own as well?
 Is she so dog-gone pretty you just can't take your eyes off her?
 Does she ever complain that she has nothing to wear?
 Does she get cold when it's below 70 degrees?
 Is her car's seat warmer the first thing to wear out?
 Do you have regular car accidents, like say 4-6 a year?
 Does she pay her bills, then buy groceries, then tithe approximately twice what she just earned?
 When you leave for a trip, do you come home to find her personal carry pistol no longer works? Because she fired over 2,000 rounds out of it without cleaning it?
 Did she ever accidentally leave her gun at a restaurant?
 Is she afraid of heights? Like, for example to the point of shear panic on the 4th rung of a ladder? Where big burly construction workers have to walk the ladder down to get her off?
 Does she sing like an angel...in the shower...all the time...really loud...?
 Did she ever get into the wrong car and try to start it? By mistake?
 Did you ever work half a day cleaning windows, just to hear her ask what in the He__ happened to the windows when she came home?
 When you were lost, while driving in a strange city, did she ever ask directions from a nearby group of angry lookin' and gang belongin' young men?
 Did your wife ever fly to another continent without packing anything? As in she took only her purse?
 Were you ever in a hospital, all buggered up from some war somewhere, waiting on a gurney to be put in a room, and have the phone ring on the very nurses desk you are laying next to and find out the call is from your wife?
 Did your wife ever cry like a baby when she saw a wounded soldier?
 Will she give up her entire meal to someone else?
 Did she ever knock over a retaining wall, with your lawn mower?
 Did she ever back out of the garage without first opening the door?
 Did she ever run into the same guy, twice, in the same accident?
 If your car was burning while she was driving it, would she notice?
 Do police officers pull her over but never give her a citation?
 Did she ever back her new Cadillac into your new truck?
 Did she put granite countertops everywhere? Even in the laundry room?
 Can she watch 24 hours of the Hallmark channel without eating or sleeping?
 Does she always order the M O S T expensive meal?
 Then not eat but one bite?
 Is the only emergency she responded to with more vigor, other than a near death injury, a broken fingernail?
 Were you ever treated for injuries after asking if her jeans were a tad bit larger?
 Did she ever sleep with her cowboy boots on? Because she couldn't get them off?
 Did you ever come to bed, noticing your dog sleeping there, then have her ask if you showered?
 Have you ever departed on a combat mission then have her call you, wanting to chitty-chat, then ask what all the noise was? And could you please move to a quieter place.
 Is she the most beautiful woman you have EVER seen?
 Did you forget how to talk the first time you saw her?
 Did she ever tape a video of herself, then send it to someone else, while intending to send it to you?
 Is she always the prettiest woman in the room?
 Well if so, to any of this, we may be married to the same woman
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Offline KensAuto

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Re: Are we married to the same woman?
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2015, 07:08:20 PM »
Almost. ....until you mentioned combat!  Lol

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