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Offline cudakidd53

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SIEMR
« on: June 24, 2015, 09:20:11 AM »
Skunk Induced Early Morning Rant:

So living in suburbia, manicured lawns with cut worms feasting upon the root system draws critters that find them quite the delicacy.......you know, Peppe' La Peu..... a.k.a. skunks!  With a concrete front stoop, the pesky critters find it quite the bug-put site and take up residence under the hardened bunker outside my front door.  Early in our life here, I had a cycle of 3 such critters in a month.  Pest services charge upwards of $175 to show up and set one of those "Have-a-Heart" cage traps, then $100 min. to empty it EACH time....so being resourceful (CHEAP) I obtained a Conibear trap from my dog trainer back then and took matters in my own hands.  Discovered that even once "whacked" in those jaws of death, it's prudent to administer a "cou-de-gras" with Mr. .22 back then.

Fast forward to last week- signs of digging show at the sight of my former struggle so I go to the garage and re-deploy Mr. Conibear at the sight of the burrow.  Nothing shows at the end of last week so I figure remove said trap and fill hole in and go off with the camper to enjoy the outdoors.  So upon my return home, while trimming the bushes that envelop our entrance each summer, I discover a freshly dug den of stench!  Re-setting the slightly rusted trap, which I anchored with a stake, I sit back and wait for Se?or' Stinky to forage for grubs.  Around 9:30 PM I detect a disturbance in the Force (faint nasal discomfort) and peer out the window to observe the scene- Mr. & Mrs. Middle East are waking down the middle of the street by the glow of mercury vapor lighting, sauntering with hands clasped behind their backs enjoying their stroll.....until they get down wind of my place! LOL!

So early this AM, the youngest Bird Finder wakes me to let him out or I can mop out his crate; I picked "wake up" instead of roll-over.  Once I've returned him to his crate, I figure go out and remove the evidence from the trap in time for today's weekly trash removal.  Donning rubber gloves, free-flowing pajamas and two plastic garbage bags, I remove the assembly from behind the bushes and lay-out the victim and trap on the grass, ready to open the jaws of death so I can put the trap away and Pepe in the trash.  While attempting to reset the substantial springs, I brushed the head of our victim with the bar clamp I was using and notice it's rear leg move- NAH, that isn't possible- let me check that again.......YEP did it again.......can't open that trap just yet or I could fall victim to a series of vengeance attacks!

Skunks are one of your most likely carriers of Rabies, hence the gloves, but nitrile doesn't hold up to sharp teeth of vermin, not to mention the usual "nerve agent" Mother Nature provides them with from birth!  Hammer Time!  No not the 80's version by M.C. , rather the carpentry variety applied like the late 60's song, "Maxwells Silver Hammer" I seem to remember was by the Beatles?  Wisely, I opened one of the bags and place over the backside of our villain, just in case.  Upon completion of said procedure with the "mlotek", I think "great, no nerve agent detected" and proceed to prepare to remove the trap for future use......h'mmm.......I feel this strange pressure in my nostrils....my tongue is watery......GAG....BLECK!  I remember at that point that when in close proximity to skunk juice, you don't really smell it as much as you "feel" it!  Gagging and spitting, I double bag trap and all and burry it in my trash bin!

First step in "recovery" was some fresh Dunkin' outta the Keurig then fired up the full pot of Costco Dark Roast to subdue the lingering effects of post traumatic STENCH syndrome........AAARG!  Wife just opened the door and I got a new waft.......yuck!  MORE COUGHFEEEE!
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Offline Flyin6

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2015, 09:37:07 AM »
Mikey, you're a writer as well as an art-tist!

Messin' with Skunks is like changin' oil. Some is always going to get on you. Kind of like applying RTV black to any surface. Seems as though A lesser amount always gets applied to you as well. It's like greasing anything. Might as well just grease yourself and get it over. And like anytime something sticky and greasy and nasty is all over your hands. That is the exact time a sweat bee or a horsefly will choose to bite ya'.

Conclusion: Messing with some things is just not going to happen without consequences!

I think I just came up with some quotable wisdom for the "Book of Don," but this time it is derived from the ongoing "Mikey Story"
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Offline Higher Caliber

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2015, 10:06:11 AM »
Great writing... Almost like you teach and stuff... Smooth! I love when you read something for the first time but it rolls off your tongue as if you are speaking it yourself! Tell me sir, did I sense some "elements of style" there? Was there a bit of Strunk in your story of the skunk?


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Offline cudakidd53

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2015, 10:21:19 AM »
Great writing... Almost like you teach and stuff... Smooth! I love when you read something for the first time but it rolls off your tongue as if you are speaking it yourself! Tell me sir, did I sense some "elements of style" there? Was there a bit of Strunk in your story of the skunk?


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"Element of Style" - I recall that book vaguely from College writing class!  Caliber, you're no slouch as a writer yourself; imagine you like to sneak some spice n humor into your "reports" at the end of your shift just to see who reads the stuff!

Thanks for the compliment & have a safe shift- how's progress on Fortress Caliber going?
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"When you're dead, you don't know you're dead. Hence, dealing with this fact is not difficult. It is only hard for those still living around you.....It's the same when you're stupid."

Offline EL TATE

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2015, 12:26:09 PM »
Now that is a validated rant! We don't have many skunks, other that what I occasionally smell off the side of the hwy, but moles are militant up here. One goes down, 3 spring up in their place. I used this little gem for years, http://www.ebay.com/itm/Victor-Plunger-Style-Mole-Trap-0645/111612806131?_trksid=p2141725.c100338.m3726&_trkparms=aid%3D222007%26algo%3DSIC.MBE%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20141212152715%26meid%3D748427a08dc8411091cb310667557764%26pid%3D100338%26rk%3D2%26rkt%3D29%26sd%3D230454881674 and it is effective as all get out when used properly. Wonder if they make something along those lines to upgrade your trap to dispatch your nemesis thoroughly so you're not blasted like that next time. Or you could go all Tim the Tool Man on it and combine the two; "Mikey's Maniacal Mechanical Machination" or the M4 Death Trap for short. You could get Don and Duane involved in the build; it'll take 2 years, but the end result will be a machine polished, gasket matched, balanced and blueprinted 1 ton masterpiece.  :D
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Offline KensAuto

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2015, 04:07:59 PM »
...but it might not run. :)
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Offline EL TATE

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2015, 04:17:36 PM »
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Offline Nate

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #7 on: June 24, 2015, 04:25:56 PM »
tate got jokes today.......;D

funny story, so did the MRS put a cot for you in the garage or are you sleeping on some blankets?
Nate

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Offline cudakidd53

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2015, 05:04:50 PM »
tate got jokes today.......;D

funny story, so did the MRS put a cot for you in the garage or are you sleeping on some blankets?

No cot necessary- I didn't get hit one bit, due to the prophylactic use of the first garbage bag!  When you're that close, the molecular structure of said stink is like cockle burrs in your nose!  I'm still catching a faint whiff here and there- garage doors are opened to air out.  Have you noticed how when you drive by one on the side of the road how the stink clings inside the car?  Open the windows and it's gone!  It's not that the stench reaches that far, just a small pocket of polluted air hitches a ride with you for a mile or so!

No longer smell it at the site of the battle, just some pockets of calm air lingering around the house!

On Tate's proposed contraption- it would be great, but the rotting corpse would be worse than the spray!

Had to go hammer, since .22 crack around 5am might rous the authorities- during my previous skunk war, there were less neighbors in the development and construction dumpsters for use as my morgue.  Trap and shoot for good measure were the method then- used a milk jug over the end of the barrel to suppress the report and nobody was the wiser and those living close by weren't prone to take offense from Red Neck methods of dispatch.  Current batch I'm not as familiar with, so I error on the side of caution so that I can maintain my CC permit!
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Offline JR

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2015, 08:38:25 PM »
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I least I wasn't the first to say it  8)

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Offline TexasRedNeck

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #10 on: June 24, 2015, 10:13:33 PM »
Sub sonic ammo and a suppressor.  You can tell the neighbors it was a pellet pistol...
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

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Offline Higher Caliber

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #11 on: June 24, 2015, 11:04:34 PM »

[/quote]

"Element of Style" - I recall that book vaguely from College writing class!  Caliber, you're no slouch as a writer yourself; imagine you like to sneak some spice n humor into your "reports" at the end of your shift just to see who reads the stuff!

Thanks for the compliment & have a safe shift- how's progress on Fortress Caliber going?
[/quote]

It's coming along... The basement is framed in and the main level is decked for framing. I'm back home (in TX) for a few days. Can't wait to see how fm far along she is when I get back!


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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2015, 09:16:11 AM »
Now that is a validated rant! We don't have many skunks, other that what I occasionally smell off the side of the hwy, but moles are militant up here. One goes down, 3 spring up in their place. I used this little gem for years, http://www.ebay.com/itm/Victor-Plunger-Style-Mole-Trap-0645/111612806131?_trksid=p2141725.c100338.m3726&_trkparms=aid%3D222007%26algo%3DSIC.MBE%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20141212152715%26meid%3D748427a08dc8411091cb310667557764%26pid%3D100338%26rk%3D2%26rkt%3D29%26sd%3D230454881674 and it is effective as all get out when used properly. Wonder if they make something along those lines to upgrade your trap to dispatch your nemesis thoroughly so you're not blasted like that next time. Or you could go all Tim the Tool Man on it and combine the two; "Mikey's Maniacal Mechanical Machination" or the M4 Death Trap for short. You could get Don and Duane involved in the build; it'll take 2 years, but the end result will be a machine polished, gasket matched, balanced and blueprinted 1 ton masterpiece.  :D

Tate, You can always get or make one of these. I will have to break mine out again this summer since the little rascals seem to be making a come back.

http://varmitgetter.com/products

Plus you get to blow stuff up!  8) 8) 8)
Mike
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Offline Flyin6

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2015, 09:48:46 AM »


http://varmitgetter.com/products

Plus you get to blow stuff up!  8) 8) 8)

Blow something up??

What??

Bobby, did you see this...Blow stuff up someone said

We're in!
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Offline Atkinsmatt

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2015, 11:24:32 AM »
Heard there was going to be some explosive relocating of trespassers happening.  When is the fun?
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Offline Nate

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #15 on: June 25, 2015, 01:24:18 PM »
Nate

Give me coffee for the things I can change and Bourbon for the things I cannot!

Offline Flyin6

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #16 on: June 25, 2015, 07:33:05 PM »
Gotta love those "traps" that were left afterward!
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Offline TexasRedNeck

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #17 on: June 25, 2015, 08:03:44 PM »
I vote for this approach

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCeasTakFuk

Classic.  A gallon jug of tannerite in the trap would be a good substitute....
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

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Offline TexasRedNeck

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #18 on: June 25, 2015, 08:08:43 PM »
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Joshua 6:20-24

Offline Wilbur

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #19 on: June 25, 2015, 09:24:46 PM »
Oh man! Well told! Glad the smell is gone. That smell is just the nastiest when delivered from point blank range.

My house has a walkout basement. Well one night about midnight.....everyone's in bed. The GSD wants out....so I open the back door (level 1). She goes tear a**ing out the door, down the steps and down toward the back yard after something....I run to the bathroom right off the hall look out and see a skunk on the patio. Yeesh....this will not end well. I yell for her and she skids to a stop and comes right back in the house (thank gawd). Now I gotta figure out how to get this skunk to leave without stinking up the joint. Hmmm.....my feeble mind thinks "water"...that'll do it. So I go in the kitchen....get the stock pot....fill it up....go back to the bathroom window. Now the skunk is right below me 1 story down still nosing around. So I let fly with about 2-1/2 gallons of water. Oops....bad idea. I swear there was still water leaving the pan when I could smell that mr. Skunk decided water was an imminent attack and spraying was going to work! Yikes!! And of course it's one of those really hot humid nights with air just dripping. I slam the bathroom window....run in the kitchen and slam that one. By the time I get upstairs to close the window in the bathroom up there (also on the back of the house) the smell was so bad it woke up my wife from the bedroom on the front of the house. I mean all this happened in about 15 seconds and it woke her out of a sound sleep. She responded as she normally does whenever I am sprinting panicked through the house...."what did you do?" Ha. She knows me too well. Fortunately the smell disapated after a day or so but lesson #1 for me was don't pour water on skunks. Lesson #2 I learned from my son when he was about 5. Don't kick dead skunks no matter how much you want to. (He won't ever again although that may have had more to do with my wife making him strip naked on the back steps I dunno). Did I say I hate skunks?

Although I did see the weirdest skunk behavior ever one night driving home. It was right down the street from the house and a whole ball of skunks (literally....about 4 or 5 or 6 skunks...I really don't know how many it was) were all wrapped up in a ball rolling across the road. My first thought was darn I can get rid of a bunch of skunks here as I started to swerve toward them...but some smarter brain cells kicked in and said "hey dummy....you'll have to burn your vehicle to get rid of the smell!!" So I just watched them....and then quickly drove by them. I still have no idea how normal or weird that particular form of skunk behavior is.

Offline cudakidd53

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #20 on: June 25, 2015, 10:41:25 PM »
Gotta love the varmintgetter!  :o

Wilbur- you mean you'd never seen a group of skunks "having a ball" before?  LOL!
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Offline Flyin6

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #21 on: June 25, 2015, 10:46:04 PM »
Gotta love the varmintgetter!  :o

Wilbur- you mean you'd never seen a group of skunks "having a ball" before?  LOL!
^^^I just knew that story would start a whole plethora of "Ball" jokes!

And if I had to guess I have chosen Mikey to be the ring leader!
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Offline Nate

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #22 on: June 26, 2015, 08:55:29 AM »
Its all mikeys fault, he did it.
Nate

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Offline cudakidd53

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #23 on: June 26, 2015, 10:03:53 AM »
Just kinda have to "roll" with it even if the jokes "stink".....
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Offline Wilbur

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #24 on: June 26, 2015, 12:49:28 PM »
Wilbur- you mean you'd never seen a group of skunks "having a ball" before?  LOL!

Oh man!  ::)

I know I know.....I started it. Ha!

 ;D ;D

Offline Flyin6

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #25 on: June 26, 2015, 01:32:31 PM »
Wilbur- you mean you'd never seen a group of skunks "having a ball" before?  LOL!

Oh man!  ::)

I know I know.....I started it. Ha!

 ;D ;D
You're startin' way too soon with this DOT stuff...hmmm (Moderators, keep an eye on this one!) ;-)
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Offline Wilbur

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #26 on: June 26, 2015, 06:19:49 PM »
You're startin' way too soon with this DOT stuff...hmmm (Moderators, keep an eye on this one!) ;-)

Hmmm....D.O.T. (Derailleur of Threads) is a term coined by this site some time ago. Used to describe those undisciplined, unruly, out of control, adolescent minded, good for nuttins' who inhabit our site here!

Hey!! I resemble that remark!  :)

Offline Flyin6

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #27 on: June 26, 2015, 06:23:52 PM »
You're startin' way too soon with this DOT stuff...hmmm (Moderators, keep an eye on this one!) ;-)

Hmmm....D.O.T. (Derailleur of Threads) is a term coined by this site some time ago. Used to describe those undisciplined, unruly, out of control, adolescent minded, good for nuttins' who inhabit our site here!

Hey!! I resemble that remark!  :)
Self incriminating!
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Offline moto123

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #28 on: July 16, 2015, 01:32:02 PM »
Sub sonic ammo and a suppressor.  You can tell the neighbors it was a pellet pistol...

Is this solution even legal?  Thought someone told me you weren't allowed to own those.  So I've always used a one shot air bb gun.  Actually just got a rabbit center mass with it 2 days ago.  We have a huge overpopulation of them this year and they are destroying the garden.  My 4 year old son was ecstatic since this was his first experience with "hunting".  He kept yelling "you got it! you got it! ... can I touch it?".  And then followed up with "can we eat it?!?".  So that was a good opportunity to explain some of the rules and have a conversation about respect for the animals you are hunting.

Offline Wilbur

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #29 on: July 16, 2015, 01:53:54 PM »
Is this solution even legal?  Thought someone told me you weren't allowed to own those. 

I don't know about subsonic ammo but more states than not allow silencers. I think its a $200 fee to the feds but once you have that you can get one. Lots of states allow them for hunting also.

I think this map is a few years old and even more states allow them now....

http://accurateshooter.net/Blog/silencermapx900.png


Offline cudakidd53

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #30 on: July 16, 2015, 02:50:17 PM »
Is this solution even legal?  Thought someone told me you weren't allowed to own those. 

I don't know about subsonic ammo but more states than not allow silencers. I think its a $200 fee to the feds but once you have that you can get one. Lots of states allow them for hunting also.

I think this map is a few years old and even more states allow them now....

http://accurateshooter.net/Blog/silencermapx900.png

I hate being left out of the "legal" ownership category!
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Offline Wilbur

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #31 on: July 16, 2015, 03:00:33 PM »

I hate being left out of the "legal" ownership category!

Ditto.....in MA I have to fight for everything.  >:(

DOT off....

Offline TexasRedNeck

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Re: SIEMR
« Reply #32 on: July 16, 2015, 05:12:36 PM »

Sub sonic ammo and a suppressor.  You can tell the neighbors it was a pellet pistol...

Is this solution even legal?  Thought someone told me you weren't allowed to own those.  So I've always used a one shot air bb gun.  Actually just got a rabbit center mass with it 2 days ago.  We have a huge overpopulation of them this year and they are destroying the garden.  My 4 year old son was ecstatic since this was his first experience with "hunting".  He kept yelling "you got it! you got it! ... can I touch it?".  And then followed up with "can we eat it?!?".  So that was a good opportunity to explain some of the rules and have a conversation about respect for the animals you are hunting.

I believe it is your RIGHT. However the legality varies by state. I live in Texas. Most everything is legal here. Suppressors require a federal tax stamp and a Form 4. $200 for exercising your RIGHT.

The someone who told you was probably a Commifornian



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Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Joshua 6:20-24